Our Story

“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr. Our story. What is our story? Nick and I have been married for 17 wonderful years. As with any couple we have been through ups and downs, but have also grown so much as individuals and as husband and wife. We feel our marriage is closer and stronger now than it ever has been. This is one way that I am recording the events of this journey for our daughter, for our family and for other potential adoptive families out there. Reading the ups and downs, the why’s, when’s and how’s of other families is what has gotten me through the past year and a half. So sit back and enjoy the ride along our journey or skip forward to the trip of a lifetime. It’s your choice, we made ours. The main story here is children. We are unable to have biological children. That being said, we had worked through it and had settled in to a comfortable life that included Nick and I and our four-legged children. We are mommy and daddy to them and that was enough. Until this one day…..It was a Wednesday, October 18, 2006. I was sitting on the couch after work and Nick walks in the living room. He hands me a brochure and asks “Would you like to go to this on Saturday?” The brochure was for the Tri-State Adoption Fair on October 21, 2006. He had picked it up at Wendy’s and been carrying it around for weeks thinking about it. Good thing I was already sitting down as you could have pushed me over with a feather. So the journey began….. OUR JOURNEY October 18, 2006 – Nick first mentions adoption October – November, 2006 – we attend many informational seminars and meetings, do lots of research, talking, praying, etc. We don’t tell anyone what we are up to. November 18, 2006 – It’s our Final Decision. We are going to adopt a little girl from China. November 19, 2006 – We tell Nick’s Mom, Sister and Brother-in-law our decision. They are stunned and thrilled. November 23, 2006 – We tell Melissa’s family at Thanksgiving Dinner. We have one more thing to be thankful for this year. Let’s just say… lots of tears. November 29, 2006 – Application sent to Families Thru International Adoption (FTIA) to use them as our adoption agency

Our version of a Family Vacation in 2005 Alaskan Cruise 2006 Guess who? Halloween 2007

December 8, 2006 – We host our annual Framily (friends who are like family) Christmas Dinner and let them know what we are up to. I think we surprised them because they thought we were getting divorced. Tee Hee. J&L taught us how to play sneaky secrets. December 2006 – April 2007 – We gather all necessary documentations for state home study and China dossier. Have all paperwork reviewed, copied, scanned, notarized, state sealed, authenticated, etc. Unless you’ve done it or are doing it now, you have no idea what an icredible amount of work this is. It was like having a second job. Everything must be perfect, cross the T, dot the I, sign the correct name, don’t staple twice, drive to Louisville, drive to Columbus, drive to Frankfort, DHL to New York City, to Washington, DC, “what do you mean my DHL package is lost!” and on, and on. With both of us working full time and the holidays, this was no easy task but our wait doesn’t start until the paperwork is finished. We must move quickly, delays are unacceptable. April 3, 2007 – Send completed dossier to FTIA Oh what a relief! April 6, 2007 – Dossier To China (DTC date) Yippee! April 17, 2007 – Dossier is logged in with China Center of Adoption Affairs (LID date) Ah, finally. Now the long wait begins…….at the time the wait was 16-18 months but we were told to expect it to get longer. Boy has it ever. April – July, 2007 – Start discussing special needs and the Waiting Children List. July 11, 2007 – Submit Special Needs Checklist to FTIA. This notifies them we are interested in special needs adoption with a Yes, No, Maybe criteria of various special needs. July 2007 – January 2008 – We casually did research about various special needs. The conditions that China considers special needs can sometimes be frightening and sometimes be not an issue at all. We started doing research on the “big scary medical terms” Oh. That’s what that is? January - June 2008 – We researched, read and reviewed several files. We found in our hearts that we were not the right mommy and daddy for them. February 8, 2008 – We submitted a Revised Special Needs Checklist to FTIA. This notified them that our Yes, No, Maybe criteria had changed. But the program was changing as well. February – June, 2008 – I continued to do research on various needs, I joined multiple Yahoo groups that discuss certain needs in search of information. I felt a very strong urge that I needed to look and fight for Caitlyn. Something was different now. I needed to find her. She needed me to find her. I searched the Waiting Children List and the Shared List multiple times every day. June 11, 2008 – YXY-18 file is posted to the new FTIA Shared CWC Yahoo Group June 12, 2008 – I am given access to the FTIA Shared CWC Yahoo Group and start searching through the files. I need to find her. I know she will be here, either now or eventually. The logo they have used for this group is the same picture that I picked out over a year ago to be used for my baby shower invites. It is a Chinese stork holding a baby in the Chinese flag. But these are Shared Files (long story for those who don’t know), I must be cautious but act quickly. June 12, 2008 – I find YXY-18 file. I review, talk it over with Nick, send to the doctors, 2 of them. One privately and one at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. We research, investigate, talk it over, get the call from the doctor, etc. As Nick sat on the couch, and I at the computer he finally said “I think this is her.” By 7:00pm we had made the decision to move forward and completed the paperwork to have her become our daughter. By 8:30pm we had emailed, faxed and left voicemail with FTIA that we would like to lock in the file of YXY-18. After we did all that I asked Nick if he would like to see her picture. He knew she was our daughter even before he saw her. June 13, 2008 – We were informed that another family had already locked in the file. We were disappointed. But I also knew that family only had 48 hours to submit all the required paperwork to CCAA in China or the file would be released again. June 13-18, 2008 – We discussed some other files, but I kept asking about file YXY-18 to see if she was locked or available. June 18, 2008 – I called once again and left a message with FTIA to see if the file was available. At 9:20am she called back to say she was available. I said Lock It. We want her. You already have all our paperwork. We hung up so she could do the necessary work and I called Nick to tell him she was available. A few minutes later Maury called back to say “SHE’S YOURS” What sweet words! I know this is what was meant to be. This is why I felt I needed to find her, fight for her. Baby, when mommy sets her mind to something, she usually gets what she wants. (We went that night to explain to our mothers what was going on.) June 19, 2008 – Letter of Intent and Family Summary and Treatment Plan sent to CCAA in China. (LOI date) Now we sit on pins and needles for them to accept us to be her parents. June 26, 2008 – Maury calls me at work and says she is looking at our Pre-Approval, Congratulations! I say “Really? Can I look at it too?” And she emails it to me. Now that we have reached this point, we still wait for more paperwork to be processed, but we have been Pre-Approved by the CCAA to become the parents of Yong Xiao Yun. We can now share the news with family and friends. I called Nick on the road, he was so excited. He called his mom, I called my mom at 9:30am and said “Get up Grandma!” We were over the moon and ready to bust! By the time I got home from work I had a whole assortment of pictures printed for everyone and Nick was itching to do a “road trip” to start telling our friends. Over the next several days, some of the reactions have been priceless. July 15, 2008 – We received updated development information and more pictures of our little Caitlyn waiving at mama and baba. July 21, 2008 – While adding to our baby registry at Toys R Us, a lady asked us how old our child was and Nick replied, “Two and a half” and we just smiled at each other. I think it might be starting to sink in. July 23 and beyond – And now here we are, waiting ever so patiently for the next step. LOA – Letter of Acceptance. This letter will come from CCAA in China to FTIA, we will sign that we accept the referral of Yong Xiao Yun and would like to be her mommy and daddy. Duh, right? Then we wait again for our Travel Approval from China, then a few more weeks until we actually get on that long awaited flight half way around the world to begin a new journey in life with our daughter. OUR DAUGHTER. What sweet words. September 8 and 9 – We received word that we got our LOA! Yippee! We received the original the next day on the 9th. Between loads Nick drove his truck out by my work so we could both sign it and send it back to FTIA right away. September 29 – WE GOT TA!!! I knew with all the offices in China closed for the National Day holiday week, if we didn’t get TA today, it would be another week. And I really didn’t expect it since they had only had our LOA back 2 weeks. We were told 2-4 weeks between LOA and TA, so no worries yet. But WE GOT IT!! I called Nick, he was so excited as well. I called my mom, he called his mom, I called a couple of friends and I just couldn’t sit still all day. I was literally bouncing and fidgeting in my chair all day at work. Every time I tried to type, I was typing so fast and out of control that I had to re-type everything several times. I thought I was just going to come unglued. September 30 and beyond – It has been quite a whirlwind with trying to get “To Do Lists” completed, get the house organized, start with packing, set up procedures for work while I’m gone, etc. etc. It’s a very busy time around here. October 10 – We got our confirmed Consulate Appointment of November 17th today. Yeah! So our travel dates are November 5th to November 19th. We can now book our international flights. October 14 – We received our passports and Chinese visas back today. One more thing to check off from the Great To Do List. October 16 – We received the rest of our Itinerary for our trip. We are getting so close. Gotcha Day baby will be November 10th. Our story will continue for the next few weeks. Getting things completed around the house, getting things organized, packing, making appointments and arrangements for the dogs, the fish, the plants, etc. And then the two of us will leave on a magical journey. Having prepared ourselves the best we can over the past 2 years in anticipation of this moment. Nick and I are excited, scared, worried, fearful, overjoyed, numb, stressed and feeling lots of other emotions as well. We will leave on November 5th as a couple that has been together, just he and I, for 19 years. Up ahead on our path of life there is a curve. We have seen the caution signs and headed the yield. In just a few short days we will merge on to a different route to continue this journey. That new highway of life is parenthood. Wow, what a ride this will be.

“For I know the plans I have for you.” Declared the Lord. “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11-12

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