We're Home
December 2007  |  January 2008  |  February 2008  |  April 2008  |  June 2008

Monday, December 10, 2007 Hello everyone, we are home!!! I am so sorry for the delay but can I just say jet lag is terrible!!! I was the fortunate one but CJ and Linzhi had a tough go at it. We’ve been home now for almost 2 weeks! So much has happened so I hope I can give you all a snap shot of all the highlights. December 4th we met with Dr. Ochs, he’s a pediatrician that specializes in International adoption AND he has 4 daughters from China so he’s been a wealth of knowledge for us. Dr. Ochs determined Linzhi’s condition is stemming from her wrists, not her elbows and because of this he feels a referral to a pediatric Orthopediac surgeon is in order. Dr. Ochs is going to do some research on the specialists in the Chicago area so when we return on the 26th of this month, he will give us a referral. Thank God we live so close to a major city! Once we have more information I will post an update on this site…stayed tuned! Linzhi is doing wonderful! The girl is a talker!!! We prayed to God she would find her voice again and sure enough…she’s bilingual! It’s so cute…she’ll speak in perfect Mandarin and then add some English to it. I want to capture it on video but it happens so fast. Linzhi has also started to taper off on her food obsession. This means she knows her mama and dada will feed her when she’s hungry so she doesn’t have to hoard food in her cheeks anymore. As cute as it was to find lunch in her mouth at dinner, it did break our hearts to know this is what she did before she had us. This past Friday, we took Linzhi to Rachel’s school. She was able to play with some of the children and just had a ball. We are so grateful to Ms. Michelle, Mr. Ken and Ms. Robin they really care about our kids so I know the transition to school for Linzhi will be wonderful! Now on to all of the kids…Trevor is absolutely over the moon about his new little sister and Linzhi feels the same way about him. Everyday when Trev gets home from school or his paper route, Linzhi runs up to her Trevor for a big brother hug, she bonded with him almost immediately, it’s really precious to watch. Rachel and Linzhi are learning about sisterhood everyday. To be honest, Rachel has had a tough go at this new sister thing but today I saw a break through and it really touched my heart. This afternoon, we went to Target so the girls could spend some of the Christmas money they got from Grandpa Nyberg. Well, at the check out the girls wanted tic tacs so I bought one box for them to share and when we got in the car Rachel immediately opened the tic tacs and gave the first one to Linzhi. Now I know this doesn’t sound like a big deal but Linzhi is at the mercy of others when it comes to food. Unless she has a hard surface in front of her, she can’t feed herself. So when I saw Rachel unselfishly feed her sister one tic tac at a time, it made me realize my eldest daughter is sensitive to her sisters’ disability and no matter how many times I have to hear Rachel tattling on Linzhi or Linzhi whinning because Rachel took her toy. I know in my heart the bond of sisters is growing and they will have each others backs always…Even if it’s as simple as making sure they get their fair share of tic tacs. :) CJ and Linzhi are very close, she loves her mama but daddy is #1 in her book at the moment. It’s very precious to watch her bond with her wonderful daddy. He is a great dad for girls. NEVER will they have to work to please their dad, he loves them so unconditionally and everyday, he lifts them up with his praises and I can see it in their eyes how much self confidence this gives them. It truly blesses my heart to know my girls will have this self assurance for later in life. God is so good! I’ve had my challenges since we’ve had Linzhi. At first, I was devastated and ashamed for not having instant attachment to her. Every morning I would wake up and cry my eyes out because I felt no motherly feelings toward her. I fed her, dressed her, kissed and hugged her but for the life of me I didn’t feel like her mama and it just broke my heart! In China, I truly felt the presence of the Lord with me on this issue but when we got home and I begged him everyday to open my heart to this precious gift, well…I felt nothing from him, nothing!

Forever sisters! Everybody needs a big brother! Mommy and her girls Getting ready for the annual Christmas party in Madison, Wis. Happy girl! Daddy's beauties from the East and West

By day two I went to CJ and asked him how he attached and bonded to her so quickly and he simply stated “When you gave birth to Rachel you handed her to me just as you handed me Linzhi” He went on to say he didn’t feel pregnancy, child birth or do any of the adoption paperwork so to him his daughters were brought to him the same way. Believe it or not, that made perfect sense to me. I also reached out a few people in the adoption community and I discovered, I wasn’t alone and what I was feeling is quite normal…NORMAL??? I had prepared myself for all the emotions Linzhi was going to be feeling but did nothing to prepare myself for the emotions I was going to feel. I also went to our dear friend Rod at church. I started a bible study with him about 2 years ago and haven’t stopped. He prepared me spiritually for this journey so I knew I needed to get some spiritual counsel from him on this matter as well. I have to say after my 2 hours with Rod I finally felt relief and I am now able to give myself a break and enjoy this precious time I have been given with my three kids. I now understand love is a journey. Sometimes it’s instant and sometimes it takes longer. I do love Linzhi and I know Linzhi is fond of me but honestly, I really don’t think she knows what to make of me. She’s never had a mother before so everyday, she gets more and more dependant of me and everyday I feel more like her mommy. I no longer riddle myself with guilt but instead I relish this opportunity God gave me to discover this little girl he chose to be my daughter. He doesn’t make mistakes so I know our love for one another will be rich and deep. So now, I take a deep breath in the morning instead of going for the box of Kleenex because the Lord is faithful and daily he opens my heart to his blessing of Linzhi. The joy I feel when we lock eyes the way only a mother and child can do reassures me the holy spirit is with us and we are going to be OK. I am grateful for this journey and I look forward to many happy years with my daughter Linzhi. As I write I got Linzhi’s attention and told her I loved her and she then proceeded to say “La Lu” …To God be the glory! We will post monthly updates for about a year so stayed tuned!!! Thank you Jen and Joe for this wonderful website…beautiful memories we’ll cherish always! Have a Merry Christmas! Amy

Website by myadoptionwebsite.com