In China
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Monday, February 25, 2013 GOTCHA DAY! I have thought about what this day would be like for the last 3 years. Would she go to us easily? Would the grieving be more than our hearts could handle? Would it be a magical moment like those I have witnessed on the adoption videos I've watched? 19 months old. In our boys first 19 months they experienced so many new firsts. Ate many new foods, went many new places, saw many new and familiar faces. They were loved, cuddled, sang too, rocked, and soothed when they were sick. They never knew there was a life any different and she's never known a life like this. And at 19 months you are old enough to see what's going but young enough to not understand. That's what makes adopting at this age tough for her. Adoption has been different for me because before, I could feel but not see our babies. This time I could see but not feel my baby. Neither is tougher, just different. What is tougher is that for 9 months I did all I could to nourish my babies for a good start in life, and continued to do so after they were born. She did not have that luxury and that is very apparent. The moment that came today was beautiful. It was just as I had pictured. I was an emotional wreck all day but when her grief kicked in I was instantly into focusing on her, not me. Many will say that she cannot possibly be grieving such a life. She's lucky to have us. She will think that some day, but not today. Today was her first time out of the 2 rooms she's been in all her life. Among many new firsts today: she has been in her first car ride, saw her first Caucasian, saw thousands of people, rode in an elevator, felt carpet, laid in a bed, watched TV and biggest of all...ate food. At 19 months old, she has never had a piece of food. So much to take in...and she is grieving for the only life she knew. She is beautiful...with the biggest brown eyes that will melt your heart. She is little...the size of a 7-9 month old. Our love for her is incredible...like we just gave birth. She is scared...but is learning to trust. We wouldn't have changed a thing about today. We will love this girl and plan to make up for all the time lost to her. We thank her mother for choosing life. We thank the Gaozhou Social Welfare Institute and the Chinese government for choosing to accept and take care of her until we were united. And most of all we thank God for putting adoption in our hearts.

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