Trip to China
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007 5:44 a.m. Chris and Oscar are still fast asleep. I figured I would try to update now since once Oscar is awake, he may not let me! Yesterday was an amazing day, but our first meeting went by so quickly it is almost a blur. You walk into the building and it is chaotic. Babies and people are everywhere! We went into a room and I immediately spotted Oscar. Oscar locked eyes with Chris when we stepped into the room. The nanny got Oscar’s attention and pointed at me and said “mama.” Then she handed me my son who stretched out his little arms for me. He clutched onto to me for dear life for the next several hours. If I even looked like I was going to put him down, he cried. The first time he cried, it about broke my heart. I knew it was coming, but I now understand something my mother tried to explain to me so many years ago. She would tell me how much she hated to see me cry, and almost every time I would cry, she would cry, too. She said that it is so hard to see your child hurting or crying. I now get it…every word of what she said. I know Oscar is going to cry and be sad especially over the next several days, but that doesn’t make seeing those tears running down his chubby cheeks any easier. I am just trying my best to be gentle and comforting and loving towards him. He seems to calm down quickly which is a blessing. I’ve thought about my mom several times over the past few days. Granted I think of her every day as I miss her so much, but now that I have fully entered motherhood, I seem to see her in a different way if that makes any sense. I understand now about the love between a mother and a child. With my mom I was just the child, but now I get how the other side feels now that I am a mother. This is the most amazing bond between humans – the love between mother and child. I truly adored my mother and now I know how it feels to adore my own child…my son, Oscar. Oh, how I love saying that. He is just too beautiful for words to me. The feeling I got when he first held onto me…when he first put his hand around my finger…when he handed me a toy and said, “mama.” These are priceless and I wouldn’t trade these simple moments for anything, not anything in this world. I feel such a sense of purpose and pride when I look at my little boy. I feel my life has true meaning now because he has filled a part of me that has been empty for far too long. Oscar gave his first smile and small giggle to Chris. Chris’s heart just melted as I saw the tears in his eyes. Oscar enjoyed watching daddy act silly and play with toys. This started to break the ice between the two of them. So far everyone’s advice on toys has been accurate. The bubbles were a great icebreaker. The stacking cups he loves to put things in and bang together. The music book seems to soothe him. However, his favorite toy still appears to be his cell phone that we sent him back in February in the care package. Every time it rings, he quickly grabs it, opens it up as if to see who is calling, and hits a button, closes the phone, and looks up at me with a grin. It’s really funny to see. His first nap was a breeze. He scooted his toys on the bed to the side and put his little head down on the pillow next to mine and fell asleep. The same went for bedtime last night. He does seem to be a little restless during sleep. The nanny said he dreams a lot when he sleeps. He woke up a couple times during the night, but once I popped my head up and he saw me, he quickly lied back down and went to sleep clutching his stuffed toy. So far he seems to like the stuffed silly ghost toy we bought at Starbucks last Halloween. It is blue with his tongue sticking out and is extremely soft. In between typing this, I’ve been snatching photos of Chris and Oscar sleeping. My two sweet men fast asleep…I love them both so much.

Today we will be signing the papers at the Civil Affairs office. We leave here around 8:30 a.m. I will be able to apply for a request to visit the orphanage today, too. It would be nice if I am granted a visit so I can see where Oscar has been visiting with his foster family these past two years. 4:00p.m. Melissa and Oscar are down for a nap, a little bit late today, so again I will be finishing off the post. As Melissa said we had to leave for the Civil Affairs office at 8:30 a.m. We decided we would get Oscar up and moving and go downstairs for breakfast. Not being accustomed to life with a 2 year old we cut are timetable a little close. After getting Ozzie ready and getting him fed we headed back upstairs at about 8:15 (with Oz waving and smiling at all the staff we passed along the way). When we got back to the room we still had to get all the gifts and donations together to take with us. Luckily we had organized most of that before leaving so it was just a matter of finding everything in the suitcases and getting it in the proper gift bags. We managed get it all together and get back downstairs only a little late. The process it the Civil Affairs office went smoothly and, again, quickly. They took a family picture for the file. Conducted a brief interview — what are you plans for his education, is all the information provided accurate, etc. Had us sign and stamp a few forms with our fingerprint. Then did the final stamp with Oscar’s footprint. And it’s official! In the eyes of the Chinese government he is officially our son! We had a little bit of time afterwards to ask Dr. Chen, the orphanage director, a few more questions but that was cut short as the room filled with 10 more adoptive families that our guide had purposely scheduled our appointment ahead of. Thank you, Ivan. We then headed back to the White Rose, with Oscar once again falling asleep in Melissa's arms. The plan being for Ivan to pick us up at 9:30 tomorrow morning to do a tour of the orphanage followed by a trip to Oscar’s finding spot. So, being left to fend for ourselves once more we loaded Oz into the Ergo and walked to the shopping mall to restock on water and snacks. Let me tell you it was hot! And poor Melissa had a 26-pound toaster strapped to her the whole time (the little man runs hot like his dad). But we managed to slog our way through and picked up some much needed supplies, a few toys for Oz and a couple of movies to watch in the room: Open Season, on DVD and dubbed in Chinese (Oscar likes cartoons) and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, on VCD (it was only 3.50 yuan, about fifty cents). Thank you once again for all of the wonderful messages of love and support in our guest book. Keep them coming! We love hearing from all of you.

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