 “Do not store up for
yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroys,
and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in
heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroy, nor thieves break
in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your
heart be.” ~Matthew 7:19-21
Many people have asked us why we chose to adopt. On very hectic
days or when the kids are sick or being difficult, I sometimes
wonder too! And just when things were getting easier with both
kids starting to go to school all day too! All kidding aside,
Mike and I started talking and praying about adopting in
November and December of 2008, shortly after Michael went to
kindergarten full time. I prayed for direction in my life now
that the kids were both at school full time. I wondered if I
should go back to teaching part-time. Shortly after this time,
it became clear what we would do.
"A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." ~Chinese
Proverb
I had always been drawn to stories about adoption and even cut
out a newspaper article about international adoption a few years
earlier but the timing wasn’t right. My heart was softened more
by an adorable, sweet little girl adopted from China who went to
preschool with Michael. Then in October, I saw a beautiful
little girl who had been recently adopted by a family in our
church. I was so amazed at how her big brothers were just doting
on her. Little did she know how much she moved me. Shortly after
that, I was listening to a Christian radio station during
National Adoption month to adoption stories and was led from
their website to an adoption agency’s website that had a very
touching video of an adoption story from China and at that point
I asked Mike what he thought. He did not hesitate for a second.
If he had, I wouldn’t be writing this right now! I knew it would
take both of us wanting this 100%. Growing up without a father
made Mike very understanding of why I wanted to do this. We felt
like we had room in our hearts for another child and wanted to
give a home to one of the many children who have none. We felt
like this child would be lucky to have a great older sister and
brother to show them the ropes. And I knew that Mike would be
the best dad this child could have. After much questioning and
researching our options we felt led to go through the
international route because of the great number of children
living in orphanages, especially in China. Throughout the
sometimes daunting process, God confirmed for us many times and
in many different ways that this was what we were being led to
do.
This is the song that I heard playing on our local Christian
radio station around Christmas time when we were deciding
whether we were really going to do this “adoption thing!” We are
hoping to be with Ethan this Christmas, but we’ll have to wait
and see.
Some words from the song,
ALL I REALLY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
By Steven Curtis Chapman
All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win
There’s so much I could ask for, but there’s just one
Thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family
All I really want for Christmas is someone who’ll be here
To sing me happy birthday for the next 100 years
And it’s okay if they’re not perfect or even if they’re
A little broken
That’s all right . . .
Well, I guess I should go, it’s almost time for bed
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence
rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make
straight your paths.” Proverbs 3: 5-6
We went to an informational meeting at a local adoption agency
only to be completely discouraged at hearing that the time frame
had increased and was 36 months on up to adopt a healthy child
from China. We thought that this was just not going to work,
still I couldn’t let it go. Then we learned about the Child of
Promise program and that there were children waiting to be
adopted who had minor, correctable medical conditions and that
the time frame was around 12 to 18 months. We had much doubt and
reservation at this point but still felt drawn to these children
who were less likely to be adopted. Our reason for adopting was
to provide a home to a child who didn’t have one and here were
these children who were even less likely to be adopted because
of their age or medical condition. We read everything we could
get our hands on about other families who had gone this route
and were inspired by their faith and love for their children. We
decided which conditions we were comfortable with and also
decided to be open with age and gender as well. We were really
afraid of having our kids upset with us if we chose the gender,
as both had a strong preference! We decided we would let our
adoption agency make a referral for us, either boy or girl.
“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, make your requests
known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all
understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4: 6-7
We sent our application into our agency in mid January and we
were surprised and shocked when a mere three months later we
were referred a cute little toddler boy who was born with a
cleft lip and palate. He was almost 18 months at that time. His
referral picture showed a serious little boy on a scooter, kind
of with a tough James Dean look. The other picture showed him
holding a small basketball. He had beautiful eyes and chubby
little cheeks. Was this our boy? We researched the medical piece
and learned that we could handle the help he would need. We
learned that we have a highly ranked otolaryngology clinic an
hour and a half away from us where he could go for his
surgeries. I felt comfortable in working with a speech
pathologist to help him with his speech and I felt like my
education background would be helpful in providing support for
him in the language and reading area.
When we showed our kids the pictures, Michael took one look at
his picture and said, “He likes Bob the Builder!” (popular TV
character with preschoolers) I felt goose bumps and knew in my
heart that this was our little boy. I had looked at his referral
picture hundreds of times but had somehow missed the fact that
yes indeed he had Bob the Builder on his red t-shirt. When
Michael was younger, he not only LOVED Bob the Builder, he WAS
Bob the Builder. He would not leave the house without his hard
hat and tool belt. So for him to make an immediate connection
with his soon to be brother was amazing. Elizabeth got a kick
out of it too. She mentioned that he probably liked basketball
like they did. The kids were definitely on board! They did not
mention his cleft lip so I pointed it out and explained it to
them. Michael said, “so… he can STILL like Bob the Builder!”
which I took to mean that he still is the same little boy who
likes basketball and Bob. I love the way kids think!!
“Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,
you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18: 3
Before we were matched with Ethan, I joked to Mike that I didn’t
care whether our child was a boy or girl just as long as they
didn’t have a birthday around Elizabeth and Michael’s and the
holidays! My birthday is Oct. 23rd. Then comes Halloween,
Michael’s birthday is Nov. 3rd, then Thanksgiving, Christmas,
New Year’s and Elizabeth’s birthday is Jan. 3rd! That’s a lot of
inviting, shopping, wrapping, decorating, baking, and overall
partying in a short amount of time! I laughed when we found out
that Ethan’s birthday is Oct. 28th. Five days after mine, three
days from Halloween and six days from Michael’s! Perfect! Oh
well, maybe we can have a combined birthday party? The funny
thing is that Mike gave me a “mother’s ring” for Mother’s Day
one year. It has my birthstone in the middle with Elizabeth’s
and Michael’s on each side of mine. Well, Ethan and I have the
same birthstone! So there he is represented on my ring right
between his brother and sister! Some things are just meant to
be! God is definitely in the details of our lives!
Even though we both started off the adoption process imagining
bringing home a healthy baby girl, God had other plans. Now, we
can’t imagine it being any other way. We can’t wait to bring
Ethan home to touch his chubby cheeks and put a smile on his
face. According to our kids’ drawings, he is already in our
family.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work for
good.” Romans 8:28
So the paper chase continued with even more frenzy because now
we wanted to have all this happen as soon as possible. We had
already had references written, attended parenting classes,
wrote autobiographies and parenting philosophies, and now were
collecting numerous documents like birth certificates, marriage
certificates, and having them notarized, state certified and
authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in Chicago. We also were
fingerprinted, (twice) tested for TB, HIV, and had full medical
exams along with shots necessary for travel. We requested police
clearances, proved our employment and financial status and had
two home interviews by our social worker for our home study. We
applied for passports and made countless trips to Kinkos, banks,
and Post Net. We filled out numerous immigration forms, made
copies, scanned pictures and wrote out checks. We had to develop
a plan of care for Ethan for his cleft lip and palate. We
visited a cranial facial clinic and talked to the coordinator of
another.
After all of that we sent off two and a half pounds of paperwork
to Holt International. Miraculously, everything was in order and
the dossier was sent off to China within a week! Our logged in
date (when China logged it in) was July 31st. Whew! A lot of
work, but it will be worth all of that and then some when we
bring Ethan home.
|
Elizabeth and Michael,
Christmas 2008 |
We would like to thank everyone who has helped us in our journey
so far:
Our parents, for all of their love and support over the years
Steve and Kris, for excitedly agreeing to be Ethan’s Godparents
Ethan’s aunts and uncles and cousins for being excited for us
Debbie, also for introducing me to Martha and Becky
Holt International, our adoption agency
Nathan, Haley and Zoe’s parents for sharing your adoption
experiences through Holt
Tim, Mike, Jackie and Jeanne, thank you for your fantastic
letters of recommendations (you really fooled them!)
Jeanne, Jackie and Iveth for taking care of the kids while we
attended required parenting classes (seems strange when you
already have kids!)
Angela, our helpful and encouraging social worker who whipped up
our home study in record time!
Sara and Kevin, for bringing back our crib (we sure weren’t
planning on that!)
Colleen, Shelly, and Laura for sharing your adoption stories
with us
Our awesome CFM group—you guys are the best!
Joan, for being a great friend
Molly and John, for helping us during a difficult time of
worrying over Ethan’s medical report, John, for helping us to
interpret his medical records
Jennic, for translating Ethan’s letter to Mandarin (much
appreciated!)
Martha, for inviting us to stay with at her home during Ethan’s
surgery in Iowa City
CRHP #23, my sisters and prayer warriors, I have learned so much
from you!
Molly M. for taking the time to give me advice on doctors
Jennifer, ditto, and for hopefully being Ethan’s speech
pathologist
To the very nice and patient nurse at Mercy travel clinic who
gave the kids their needed typhoid shots (we’re not too fond of
shots in this family)
Jamie, for sharing your thoughts as we go through this process
together
All of our family and friends for sharing in our excitement and
offering encouragement. Many of you have touched us in very
special ways. All of you are a part of this journey. Please take
the time to sign our guestbook so that Ethan will know how much
he was loved half way around the world! We also humbly ask for
your prayers for us over the coming year.
Specific Prayer Requests:
Ethan
We ask you to pray that Ethan stay healthy and strong
until we come and get him and can give him the medical care he
needs. We pray that he feels God’s love through his caretakers.
We realize that Ethan has his own distinct personality with
likes and dislikes, and caretakers and children he will miss. We
will be taking him away from everything he knows. He will likely
be scared and angry with us and go through a grieving period.
Please pray that he bonds with us quickly and that someday he
will be as happy to be with us as we are to be with him. Please
also pray for Ethan’s birth mom who gave him life, loved him,
and took him to a safe place so he would have a chance at a
better future.
Travel
We ask that you pray for safe travel (no flight
cancellations, PLEASE!) and that we all stay healthy throughout
the trip. Also, that the H1N1 virus does not get as bad as
expected. I really pray that Ethan can sleep on the plane. Maybe
we should pray for the other people on the plane!
Elizabeth and Michael
We ask you to pray that they make a smooth transition to
their new sibling and learn a little about joy and compassion
along the way. |
