For our daughter who is not
here yet!
From a Father’s Heart
We have been told that we are crazy for adopting and even
crazier for adopting out side the United States. I have to start
at the beginning - I was away in the Philippines when adoption
came into my heart. When I held a little girl who had no family.
I have to admit, I wanted to give her a home but it was not
God’s plan for me to adopt her but for her to place that need
into my heart and to open my eyes. My family is what I consider
as my wealth, my joy and my rock when times are hard. I called
my wife (Denise) and told her what I was praying for direction
on adoption at this time in my life. It was interesting because
she had the same conviction, half way around the world. She
looked into the options that were open to us. We knew we wanted
a girl at this time in life but the location or country of
origin was what we needed direction from God. Adopting from our
location was not an option due to several factors - I’m not NC
resident and I’m military with a residence of PA. Plus the costs
and several other scary facts sent us looking abroad. China
caught our heart; China has a stream lined their adoption
process and are very stable in their procedures. I had to spend
several days in prayer, God told me to stop waiting and trust in
him. I did not have the money for the application but still I
wrote out the check and sent it in trusting in God. When we got
home from dropping off the application we noticed that the mail
lady had gone and my brother-in-law had sent us a letter. In
that letter was the exact amount of the check I had sent in-
that was one of the many miracles God has done through others to
bless our family but most importantly showing the love for our
new daughter around the world. I was sent to Korea for what was
supposed to be for a few days but in reality was close two
months leaving Denise to do the brunt of the paper work. But
that turned into another of God’s blessings for I had the chance
to volunteer in an orphanage there and that stabilized all my
worries - I was ready to be a father again.
Grace,
My little princess; my arms ache to hold you, to keep you
safe and share my life with you. There is so much I want
to say but the most important is: I love you and I am your
Forever Father. You are in our prayers and your sisters
are looking forward to having another sister to love and
building a life together as a family.
Your father now and Forever,
Daddy |
How does one start?
I don’t remember when I started to ‘kick around’ this idea
of adoption. I only know that it had come to the forefront of my
thoughts & prayers. It began as this little nudge, and I
thought, “Surely not, this is only hormones.” After all David &
I have biological children; two beautiful daughters. Cecily 13
and my baby, Nikki, age 10 we are on the beginning of launching
them into the world. I was pushing 40; perhaps those feelings at
seeing those sweet little cherub faces were just some
sentimental emotions over lost youth. “But,” I continued in my
silent talk with the Lord “If this is Your will for our family,
let it manifest itself through David.” I left it at that.
A year and a half later, your Daddy was deployed to the
Philippines. This deployment was different than his others. He
was close to the people. There was an orphanage there. He saw up
close the poverty and the hopelessness. At a school, it was more
like a pavilion; a teacher placed a young child in his arms. She
was around 3 or 4. She had no teeth; she hung on to David as if
he were a lifesaver. The teacher told him to take her, for she
had no family. David’s heart ripped out. That evening he called
me and asked me what I felt about adoption. I was stunned. I
hadn’t talked to him about my inner tugging.
Jeremiah 33:3
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and
unsearchable things you do not know.”
WHY CHINA?
At fist we wanted to adopt from the Philippines, after all that
was where he first realized he wanted to adopt. But after some
research we decided that China would be better. We wanted a
daughter, I was amazed to find that boys were more readily
available everywhere; Except China which has 95% girls. I even
briefly looked at domestic adoption but found that it really
isn’t an option. At this season in our lives I didn’t want to
expose our family to more turmoil than necessary. David had
never wavered, he has fallen in love the Asian people. So we had
chosen a country. In the mean time David came home early. Now we
had to choose an agency. We stuck with “Christian” agencies
because that describes who we are. I wanted an agency that would
understand our language. I searched on the Internet and called
Military One Source, a wonderful resource for us military folks.
I became an information junkie! One thing became clear, there
were LOTS of “Christian” agencies and most everyone was happy
with their agency. So I told David to just pick one.
Isaiah 43: 1-5
But now, this is what the Lord says – he who created you, O
Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have
redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When
you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you
pass through rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk
through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not
set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of
Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba
in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and
people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am
with you; I will bring your children from the East and gather
you from the West.”
Why you?
Grace to let you know that God’s hand has been on this
adoption allow me to share with you a journal entry that I
had typed early in our journey.
February 21, 2006
I just had the strongest urge to pray for Grace. It was
like her life was in danger or something. I poured out my
heart to the Lord to protect her life. To tell her she is
not unloved, that her Mama and Papa are coming as soon as
they can. That she has sisters who dearly love her and who
would protect her. I asked the Lord to protect her from
the elements and animals and those who would sell her.
Then out of nowhere I asked the Lord to protect her heart
and that the congenital heart failure is fixable here in
the US. That Nikki herself had heart surgery. Could there
be something wrong with Grace's heart? Could this be the
day that Grace was abandoned? I pray that Dave will be
home soon. This is too hard without him.
Later: Thursday, March 16, 2006
Today the waiting child list came out. I almost chose a
girl with a cleft pilot but then I remembered that back in
February I felt a heavy burden to pray for Grace’s heart!
It amazes me! Could this little
girl be the one I was praying for? Only God knows for
sure!
Later the Lord confirmed this now
you are our daughter. Your Daddy told you now I wish to
tell you – no matter what, we love you and will care for
you. You have been abandoned by one but have been chosen
by many. Welcome to our family little Grace! I cannot wait
to watch you grow and learn of Jesus; who comforts us in
our affliction. And rescues us from danger.
Now and forever,
Mom |
Dear Heavenly Father I
cry out to you…have I heard your voice?
I ask you Father, be with Grace; protect her and keep her
safely for us.
Dear Jesus comfort her. Dear Father increase my love for this
child until there is no difference from the love I have for
her and Cecily & Nikki. Let it be that when I speak of “the
girls” that it would include little Gracie. Your mom's prayer
for you :-)
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