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January 24, 2008

A week has flown by….oh my!!! Well, I guess “flown” if you are a goose headed south for the winter. Sort of a lazy, I’ll get there when I get there, kind of pace.

I have truly grown to appreciate Dorothy’s wisdom in the Wizard of Oz when she showed single minded determination to get back to Kansas because THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME! We returned home from Sarah’s surgery on January 16, 2008. My mom and I determined that we possessed the same sense of wild adventure as Lewis and Clark did as they navigated the Colombia River and set out (with Sarah of course) for home sans Brian. We had checked and rechecked our charts and maps and consulted the local weatherman and verified the call for clear skies all the way. Unlike Lewis and Clark however, we were well stocked with Diet Pepsi, chocolate milk for Sarah and all manner of snack foods. The Diet Pepsi came to haunt us later as we had to make many unscheduled stops in our pursuit of the elusive Boise. Sarah was a model passenger for any small child and was no less than angelic considering she had just had her surgery 6 days prior. She slept, she ate, she laughed, she ate, and she was generally content. I was sure to keep her on schedule for her pain medication and each time we stopped, we gently scooped her out of her seat to stretch out and to check everything out. She was gleeful to reach home and be smothered with the antibacterial gel glazed hands of her daddy, brothers and sister.

Her continuing recovery is going well. We are amazed that her main incision line down the center of her chest looks so good. It comes to a slight peak but that actual incision itself is remarkably put together. With glue! (I still can’t get over that and I am a nurse) The glue has mostly worn off and the skin looks beautiful. She got the stitches out of two of her chest tube sites on Tuesday (the 22nd) but the final one on the right had to wait until yesterday (the 23rd). The surgeon here in Boise had to remove that one and darn it that site looks yucka-yuck. He cleaned it all out and it is not infected it just had not been stitched very firmly and it will most likely be the most pronounced and ugly of all the scarring. Thankfully it will end up in a spot that nobody but her husband best be seeing right?? (wink ;-) Her deep anxiety and fear of the doctors now is difficult and traumatizing for her each and every time. When we went to the surgeon’s office yesterday, she started to cry, quite literally, upon entering the WAITING room. How she even knew we were at a doctor’s office is beyond me. She didn’t stop fussing (or screaming during the stitch removal and wound cleaning) until we were long gone from the office. The surgeon was kind and answered some of my questions over the din of her cries. I held her close and wrapped my arms around her but, nothing short of vacating that building and putting some distance between her and the office was going to help. I dread these appointments now because I know how overwhelmingly stressful they are for her. At home she is certainly kicking up her physical activity level a notch or two (or three or four……) She is walking way better than she was before surgery and is certainly trying to be more vocal. The thing that is proving to be the near undoing of Sarah and her parents is her sleep anxiety/insomnia. Oh my!!!! Sarah has always been a great sleeper. Twelve hours usual at night with an hour nap some days and others none. Now, she cries as we even head up the stairs for her bedroom. She does calm down and we can still lay her down peacefully but, usually about 2 or 3 hours later she wakes up in high stress and stays on the edge of sleep for the next 3 to 4 hours. Then she will crash for the last 2 to 3 hours and then is up for the day 10 hours after it all began. The weird thing is she fights the sleep. It is evident she is tired. Certainly evident that mom and dad hover somewhere between mumbling incoherently with slow motion reflexes and pure nighttime adrenaline to help our little girl. We are tired. No, we are fatigued.

I have made it home and
I'm lovin' my powdered donut

I love to play the piano -
especially with daddy nearby

My whole family loves to see me smile

My brother's hat looks good on me

Mandi shows us all what hospital gloves are REALLY for

When I asked the surgeon about this unexpected development her said, “oh, well, sometimes people suffer from nighttime anxiety and insomnia lasting from 6 weeks to 3 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Oh dear. We will go forward doing everything we can to help her readjust and thrive. She has been such a fighter and this process such a miracle. The timing, the process….we have tried so hard to trust that Heavenly Father held her in His hands and surely He has. Our understanding of the love He has for each of us has grown and flourished. We have felt love and strength from so many and our faith has increased. For that we give thanks. We stand all amazed at the privilege and honor we have been given to bring Sarah into our eternal family. She is what we have all needed, far more than even she needed us. We are blessed.

More soon…………

Fondly,

Brian and Anna

along with Eric, Jacob, Jonathan, Samuel, Amanda and Sarah

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