In China
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Monday, September 6, 2010 GOTCHA DAY! This morning I awoke to a dark hotel room with the rain tap dancing on the window. I knew it was way too early to get up and start the day and yet I lay in bed urging the morning alarm clock to sound an announcement that the day could begin. Today, Labor Day, will be a day we will never forget. Today is the day that CaiXia would begin her new life as Bella Trinity CaiXia with our family as our daughter/little sister. Breakfast was exciting as waiting parents chattered with anticipation over the promises of the day. I drank some industrial strength coffee and ate a fresh omelet in order to physically prepare for the day. The Western buffet at the hotel has us spoiled as there is a chef eagerly waiting to receive our individualized omelet order and a waitress standing with bated breath for us to sip the last drop of coffee so she can come and refill our cup. Our travel guide had instructed us to meet in the lobby at 9:30am in order to go to receive our children. Our entire group was standing in the lobby promptly at 9:20am as this was not a day that anyone would want to be late to the bus. Cameras were charged, and videos were running. Kleenex tissue was already being dampened by tears of joy and hope for the future. We arrived by bus to a quiet, empty Civil Affairs office. The rain and Monday morning traffic had held up all 6 children that were on their way to this life changing appointment. The children arrived between 10am and 11:45am…ours being the last to arrive. However, this spacing allowed us each to take in the formation of new families clicking pictures, wiping tears, and smiling at the joy that literally pierced each family’s hearts. Our travel group consists of 9 families total and we have the special privilege meeting supportive grandparents, aunts, uncles, and siblings in more than half of the families here. There are little boys, little girls, older children and a variety of special needs represented in our group. It is such a beautiful picture to me of all of these families that are truly blessed to bring such incredible children into our lives. Bryce was so cute as he says exactly what he is thinking. Our children tend to be somewhat color blind since we are a multiracial family. Bryan is half Japanese and half Chinese. His father is full Chinese. I have some German, some English, some French. All of our children who are adopted are from China. So today, the first kiddo is brought in and Bryce says, “So he is really cute. Is he Japanese?” I say, “Well, Bryce, we are in China and he is Chinese.” He says, “Oh, that’s cool!” Too funny! Bella was the last child to arrive. Sweet Lily carried her in from the rain and Bella Trinity looked concerned, worried, fearful, and so very vulnerable. She immediately began to whimper and shake. Soon she was in my arms and was crying, arching and screaming. She was so frightened and so fragile. She cried and I began to use my best Mandarin comforting words that I know. She continued to cry and Lily soon had to leave. I could tell that she knew from experience that everything would be okay; and yet I could tell that she loves Trinity so deeply and hopes for a future of promise and love. Bella continued to cry and arch her back. I held her closely and went into a familiar mode. This is not our first rodeo. We are so blessed to be experiencing our fourth adoption. With that experience comes the familiarity of grief and loss- two emotions that little ones experience with adoption. We also know that with love, encouragement, time, patience, and sometimes additional supportive resources, little ones’ hearts can mend and they can learn that being a part of a family can bring comfort, love, belonging and security. I began to hum a song that I know our little Bella has heard before, “Jesus Loves Me”.

First Moments Grief and Fear combated with Love and Affection Surrendering to Grief Naptime After a Long Morning Cautious at Bedtime

As soon as I started to hum, I could feel her quiet enough to listen. I began to quietly sing the familiar tune and the next thing I knew she snuggled in to my arms, put her head on my chest, and surrendered to her loss while accepting her gain. She received my comfort and quickly fell right to sleep. We then left for the hotel in order for the other families to meet their children. Then there was more paperwork, more forms, more agendas; but no more waiting. At last Bella is in our arms.

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