"What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." ~Isaiah 46:11

Full Circle and Complete! That is how I feel when I think of Ellie and what her adoption means for our family. The story is long, but it needs to be told in it in its entirety. To GOD be the Glory, Great Things He Has Done!

The story of Elisabeth LiMeng is one that only God could have written. One that could have been orchestrated only by Him. Her story begins not with her referral, but in Dec. 2006; years before she was even born. It was then that we traveled to Hunan to adopt our first baby girl, AnnaClaire. We were able to visit her orphanage, Chenzhou SWI, on one of the days of our trip. And while we were there visiting, I was forever changed. I knew in my heart that I would be back to that very place again one day. I felt in my very core a connection to Chenzhou~ one that I have not felt in the same way with any of our other 3 children's orphanages. I would be back. Upon arriving home, and over the years we have always said within our family that if the opportunity ever arose to adopt again from Chenzhou, we would do it again in a heartbeat.

In 2008, we brought home our darling Kate from Jiangxi.

Fast forward to Oct. 2009. At that time we were paper chasing for our 3rd adoption. For our precious son, Charlie, who was to be our "last". I happened upon an agency WC list (not the agency we were using for Charlie's adoption) and saw the face of a baby girl who stole my heart. Her SN was one that we were familiar with, and one for which I have a special place in my heart. That baby girl was not to be ours, but at that moment God spoke to my heart and said, "You will bring home one more baby girl. Your family will not be complete after Charlie." "What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." ~Isaiah 46:11. A month later, on our agency list, a beautiful girl, with a sparkling smile, very unexpectedly grabbed my heart. She was turning 10 years old the very day I first laid eyes on her. God spoke to my heart and said, "She is yours, bring her home." And within a couple of days we sent in LOI for our Grace. Ok, Lord, you were right. Our family was not to be complete after Charlie. We did have one more girl, though she was not a baby girl as I had thought. Perhaps I had heard wrong. We brought Grace and Charlie home in July 2010, and to all, our family seemed complete. Our hands were blessedly full.

To all, our family did seem complete. To all, but me! Those early days of being out with the 4 by myself, often found me counting heads. And every time I reached 4, I would find myself looking around for #5, always feeling as if someone was not there. Feeling that someone was missing. I happened to be the only one in the family who felt like someone was missing, though. Although our older children have always been on board with our adoptions, all 3 were pretty much feeling that the 4 we had were enough, and 7 children were plenty for our family. They were feeling done, as was Bill. And so, I tried my best to put "baby girl" out of my mind.

In mid-late Jan. 2011, my heart felt heavily burdened. Burdened that we DID have on more baby girl waiting for us in China. I shared with my husband, but he was not feeling that same burden. Well, actually he was feeling the burden. But not of a baby girl waiting for him. He was feeling the financial burden of our 3 older children who would all be overlapping in college that next school year! A month went by. I was still feeling my baby girl burden and Bill, his. I felt SO strongly though, that we had a baby girl on the Feb. shared list, that Bill agreed that I could have our agency rep check that ONE list for us. And ONLY that one. If our little girl was on it, she was ours and meant to be. And if not, I had heard wrong, and I promised not to bring up "baby girl" again. I called my agency rep and I asked her if she'd check the Feb. shared list for us, looking only for a little girl 12 mos. or younger at referral, and I listed only one special need~ the need of the baby girl I had seen back in Oct. 2009. We did not get our referral call that night, and I told my agency not to check any further lists. It seemed our family was complete.

Fast forward again to May 27th, 2010~ the day of our oldest daughter, Emily's, high school graduation. With a house full of out of town relatives and our upstairs air-conditioner totally OUT (which at the end of May in our southern state means HOT) I was a hot and emotional mess. I woke up early that morning, and I did what any good adoption mama does, and that was to get on the computer. (Don't laugh~ you know you all do that, too!) And there in my inbox was a message with the title "Maybe????" With a 2nd message titled, "Referral". To say I was shocked is an understatement. Yes, I knew a new list had come out that past Monday. But I was certainly not expecting a call. These messages had come to me the night before; as Thursday nights are when files are re-released.

I opened the referral email and took a peek. And there she was~ a darling baby girl with her hair standing on end! I then said to my husband, who had just woken up, "You are NOT going to believe this!" And I showed him that sweet face. The sweet face of a baby girl, who had just turned 12 mos. old and had the one SN we'd "requested" back in February. Bill was incredulous, as was I. I ASSURED him that I had not broken my promise to him ~ that I HAD sent an email to the agency asking them not to look for us anymore. But then the "college finance thing" hit him, and Bill said, "No, this is just NOT the time." I asked him if he was sure, and he said that yes, he was very sure; there was just no way. She was perfect, but the time just wasn’t right. I then composed the most heartfelt and tearful email to my rep declining the file of this most perfect baby girl. She wrote back and said that the file was locked until Sunday night, should we change our minds. She said that she was so sorry that she had continued to look for us and put me through such anguish, but that she had not received the email I had sent asking her not to look further. So that was that. There was to be no baby girl. We were complete.

But then. Through my tears, I belatedly did more than just look again at the referral photo. I actually started to READ what was written. And I didn't get very far~ just to her name to be exact, when I saw it. CHEN Li Meng. Hmmmm "Chen" was our AnnaClaire's surname~ the one that they give to all the children that come into Chenzhou SWI....and then I read where she was from. And indeed, out of all the orphanges in the huge country of China, this baby girl, who also matched the very narrow parameters I had given to our agency rep, was from CHENZHOU. Of course our agency rep had no idea that it was the desire of our hearts to adopt from Chenzhou again. I certainly hadn't had her searching for a <12 mos. baby girl, with one SN listed AND given her a specific SWI to look for. That would have been ludicrous. Impossible. "...but with God, all things are possible." ~Matthew 19:26. So, I went to Bill armed with this new information. And he said, "Ok, now we do need to talk." The problem was, how can two "talk" with 15 family members in the house? This had taken us SO off guard, that we REALLY did need to talk. How can two "talk" with a day and evening full of graduation festivities? All the while trying to make the day special for a very special daughter? How can one not say anything to that very special daughter? The daughter who knows my heart so well. How can we go through THAT day, with THIS weighing on our very souls???? Not surprisingly, we fell into bed that night, both physically and mentally exhausted, having said nothing to anyone~ not even to each other.