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Jennifer's Place Archive
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A Cold Spell
 I
stepped out into the cold tonight to run an errand,
wearing a down vest and another jacket over that, and
thought to myself, "Spring will never come." We live in
Pennsylvania, where it has been grey, gloomy and snowy
for several days. What a difference a week makes! Just
last Monday we were enjoying sunshine, short sleeves,
the playground and the driving range. Now this.
And it also struck me tonight that our referral feels
much like this elusive spring - that it will never
arrive. Again, what a difference a week makes! I have to
admit, the eternal optimist in me loves that time every
month when referrals are thought to be arriving soon,
before any reliable rumors are surfacing . . . I have
such hope for a surprise, for weeks of LID's to have
been matched, for the slow-down to speed-up, for the
some normalcy to return to this once predictable
process. So as snow fell this Easter weekend and the
awful news came that only 2 days of matching had been
done, many of us could only sit stunned in front of our
computers, broken-hearted.
I think many of us who've walked this way before want so
badly to offer words of comfort and encouragement to
those adopting for the first time. It is hard to find
the right words. As I searched for something positive to
share a thought occurred to me: Might we focus on the
fact that not only are we counting down . . . albeit at
a snail's pace . . . to something wonderful, we are also
counting down to something lasting and life-changing.
I've always been a "count-downer", crossing days off the
calendar to vacations, holidays, summer, birthdays. And
each event I wait impatiently for seems to just come and
go . . . before I know it the sand in my toes is a
distant memory, the Christmas tree is taken down, the
summer sun gives way to the chill of autumn. But what
we're waiting for right now, when that unbelievable day
finally arrives, is something permanent . . . and
referral day is only the beginning! Parenthood and all
its joys WILL be yours, in time (I might add, at the
perfect time) and it will most certainly be worth the
wait. Friends, I wish so very much that this incredibly
long process wouldn't rob us (and I include myself here)
of the joy and anticipation we should be enjoying as we
look toward becoming parents.
My other thought was that it sometimes feels, for those
of us with infertility, that in choosing adoption we've
simply traded one dizzying roller coaster for another.
Perhaps instead we can envision this long, slow wait as
the kiddie train that chugs around the amusement park.
Not a whole lot of fun, but it does move ahead, slowly
but surely. Each month families all over the world are
experiencing their dream come true through China
adoption. Each month the rest of us inch closer. We may
be down, but we're not out. How I wish we could enjoy
the ride.
At dinner tonight I asked Joe what words of comfort we
could possibly offer. He simply said, "Because of this
wait, you will receive that child . . . the child you
were meant to have, and you wouldn't have wanted it any
other way."
I couldn't have said it better myself. |
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