Monday,
October
25, 2010
The day started for me today at 3:30am. For April, about 5:30am.
The time change is in full force. We're dead tired by 8pm and
then up again around 4am. I happen to love that schedule because
I've always loved the peace of the mornings. As Father Jackson
tells me, "take advantage of your mornings". It's a great time
for prayer and meditation, planning your day, and just thinking
clearly in general. Of course lately it's also a great time for
catching up on blog posts. This day was no different as I
processed some photos, typed up the blog, said some prayers, and
then went for a much needed run around the island. After getting
showered and ready for the day, April and I both spent some time
in quiet solitude thinking about the events of the day to come.
Looking over the city toward the Civil Affairs office, I
couldn't help but wonder if Gemma understood the significance of
this day, and if she would accept us as her forever family. I
wondered how accurate all the information was that we had
received, since the information we'd received three years prior
for Ava was less than accurate. We've both worried about getting
a high-spirited, strong-willed child that has attachment issues
because that's about the last thing we could possibly endure.
Ava has no attachment issues but she's certainly high-spirited
and strong-willed. We'd been told she was placid and compliant.
So we had worries upon worries mixed with cautious optimism. I
suppose that's normal.
After yet another delicious and way-too-big-breakfast, we went
to our prep meeting in the Holt meeting room on the 4th floor.
Catherine was there along with Anson and Joyce, and they laid
out the details of the gotcha day proceedings for us. The last
time around we'd had a huge group of families and I remember
Catherine being very stressed out. This time however she was
relaxed and in her element. That means she was a total crackup.
The woman has a great sense of humor. Anson and Joyce are
excellent guides. Anson works for Holt and Joyce for Lotus.
Between the two you pretty much get everything taken care of
that you need.
We met for about an hour, covering all the basic issues about
reactions of the children, what to do in case of illness,
sleeping arrangements, etc. We also covered other business such
as the week's schedule, petty cash, and immunizations. Then came
the wait. The nervous wait that seems like an eternity. We
wrapped up the meeting at about 11am, and we weren't leaving for
the Civil Affairs office until 2pm. Most people just get outside
in the park and walk around endlessly. We're no exception and
encountered several families doing exactly this. While out, we
popped back into Jordon's place to say hi and have him write
Gemma's name in Chinese calligraphy as he does for all adoptive
parents at no charge. He was super friendly as always and Gavin
enjoyed looking at dozens of ornate knives that Jordon sells.
Finally it was time to head out. There are four Guangdong
families and then several more that will be here at the end of
the week. We, along with the Perrys, are adopting older children
while the other two families are adopting toddlers. One of those
families is adopting for the first time. We were all pretty
nervous and apprehensive.
We suddenly got even more nervous and apprehensive. Seconds
before boarding the bus, Anson ran up to hand us a bag of lice
shampoo and told us that it was discovered that Gemma has head
lice. About four months ago, we'd had a bout of lice at our
house when we noticed that Keaton had an infestation. His was
very minor but turned our house upside down nevertheless. In all
likelihood, we had overreacted to it, but the lice was gone
within a week so I think the work was worth it. It is true that
things happen for a reason because there is no way we could be
as prepared to deal with this situation had we not gone through
that one. Rather than freaking out about it, we just figured we
had at least one long night ahead of us while we dealt with the
worst of it. The lesson in this is that whenever you suffer from
inconveniences, step back and look objectively at the situation.
It is very possible that your difficult experience is happening
to prepare you for something else later on.
A short ride later and we arrived at the Civil Affairs office.
You'd never find this place if you weren't guided to it. The
office is on the eighth floor in one of the thousands of
nondescript buildings in Guangzhou. The entryway is not even
facing the main street. Instead it is a short walk down a side
alley. We hopped off the bus straight into the frenzy of
activity that surrounds the building. It is located at the heart
of an industrial area within the city, where shop after shop
line the streets selling machine tool parts. You must be careful
getting off the bus since the door opens into the oncoming
traffic. Weaving your way through a sea of people you get to the
building entrance. The Chinese way is to cram as many people in
an elevator as possible. In the States we'd look at an elevator
full of people and if it looked like it was going to be the
slightest bit uncomfortable to squeeze in, we'd simply say "I'll
get the next one". In China there's always room for one more,
even if it means setting off the load limit alarm in a drab,
dimly lit, very tiny elevator.
After what seems like hours to get to the 8th floor, we make a
left off the elevator into the Civil Affairs office. We hadn't
even gotten settled in yet when they started bringing children
out. They brought the toddlers out first for the Downes and Luke
families, then they brought Jie Ya (Gemma) and Cui Mei (Faith)
out together. For the 2nd time now this has happened for us
completely unlike what we had imagined. It happens very quickly,
without a lot of fanfare. They simply call your last name and
out come the kids in the hands of an orphanage staffer. In your
minds eye, it happens in slow motion. You have plenty of time to
set up camera shots. You imagine where you'll stand and how
you'll receive your child. You wonder if you'll hold it together
or if there will be a flood of emotion. And then in reality it
all happens in less than 10 seconds. We've dreamt about this
moment for months, orienting our entire lives around the purpose
of bringing home this child. We've done mountains of paperwork,
raised and spent thousands of dollars, rearranged rooms, packed
bags, traveled 10,441 miles, then traveled once more 15 minutes
from the White Swan Hotel. 10 seconds later it is done and she
is in our arms and who cares about what it took to get to this
moment.
Gemma and Faith were all smiles coming through the curtain.
Faith ran to her mom first with the biggest smile on her face.
Then Gemma ran to April with a big smile on her face. She was
already jabbering in Cantonese even though we couldn't
understand her. She was delighted to see Gavin but asked where
her Mei Mei (Ava) was. Then I walked up and she gave me a hug.
There has been no grieving at all on her part. In a way that's
fantastic because we don't have to console her through the
process, but it's also something to watch out for because she
should have a healthy sense of loss at this point. Faith's
plight was another story. Even though by all accounts she seemed
the more prepared of the two, after her initial excitement upon
meeting her family, she began to grieve inconsolably. She must
have had an excellent foster care situation where she felt very
loved because suddenly she didn't want to go. The Perrys had to
literally pry her out of the Civil Affairs office while the rest
of our hearts ached for them. Todd managed to calm her down and
after a few hours back at the hotel she was right as rain again.
We left the Civil Affairs office and Gemma stared quietly out
the window all the way back to the hotel. Anson and Joyce went
upstairs with us to help settle the lice situation. We
benefitted greatly by their careful attention to this and
proceeded with the task of cleaning her up. First up was a hot
bath to do the shampoo treatment. April put her in her swimsuit
and Gemma entertained herself by shooting everybody with a
squirt bottle from the tub. We wrapped her in towels and a bath
robe and set her down to start combing nits out of her hair.
About 15 minutes into it and after already extracting hundreds
of eggs, we nearly gave up and just took her down to get her
head shaved. She didn't have any live bugs though so we decided
to persevere. Gemma just laughed away at Chinese cartoons on TV
while we combed and combed. After another hour or so we were
confident that we got all of them that we could find for that
day and decided against cutting her hair. We took precautions
for the night and had housekeeping bring up clean sheets and
pillows for her to lay on. Joyce explained that in the
countryside, children live with lice infestations for most of
their childhood, then they finally just seem to grow out of it
later on. In the U.S. there's a huge stigma associated with a
lice infestation but it's different here. All in all, it wasn't
that big of a deal but again, it probably would have been a MUCH
bigger deal had we not gone through it recently.
For dinner we decided to try the Deli Shop in the White Swan.
It's located out the glass doors on the 1st floor, immediately
to the left. They sell normal deli sandwiches but they have an
assortment of noodle and rice dishes as well. They also have
several flavors of ice cream that you can order in a cone or cup
and mercifully, it's not the tainted-dairy variety of ice cream
that you would ordinarily get here. Gemma simply pointed at the
menu for what she wanted - a noodle and ox soup bowl. BLECH!
Gavin had a ham sandwich and April and I both had a yummy
chicken curry. It was cheap and decent but not the kind of place
you'd eat at too often.
We walked through the park for a bit and then headed back to the
hotel to settle in for the night where the rest of the evening
was uneventful. At about 8:30 we set up the air mattresses for
the kids. Gemma and Gavin were both out before their heads hit
the pillow, as were their mom and dad. We didn't have the long
night we expected, but it definitely had been a long day. Gemma
is a very pleasant, fun-loving kid and seems to be enjoying
herself. Clearly she's been prepared well and we are so very
thankful. Praise God for this little girl! |
Jordon doing his calligraphy for Gemma
April and Gavin at the gazebo in the park
The Civil Affairs office
Last time around it was body to body in here
The infamous holding room for the kids
Gemma and Faith's gotcha moments
We brought a cheap little digital camera for Gemma to have fun
with
All smiles
Joyce is doing a little translation for us
Gavin showing Gemma some of the games on the iPod
Something must have captured Gemma's attention
The ride back to the White Swan
Silent contemplation
She's a healthy eater!
Those are some fancy shoes she came with! |
