Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Nothing can really prepare your heart for visiting an orphanage in China where your child has lived all their life until two days ago. Nothing can prepare your heart for taking a photo of a location where your child was found. Even when your child lived in a place where she was loved and very well cared for it is still emotional. Especially when you walk out the door wondering what will happen to the precious children you just fell in love with and said goodbye to.

Our trip to Yangzhou truly went well. Emme Jade traveled easily on our 2.5-hour trip to get there. We were surprised to learn that Yangzhou is a city of 4 million people. We saw a contrast of lush landscapes, poor villages, and lots of industry. It is located on the Grand Canal, which is an artificial river that was built 2000 years ago. We stopped for some photos by the canal. It was beautiful!

When we arrived at the orphanage the Executive Director, Mr. Huong, greeted us. We met him yesterday at the Civil Affairs office too. He is a kind man, and he was very welcoming. As Jeff stepped out of the car with Emme Jade you could sense her getting very nervous. By the time we reached her classroom she was getting very sad. It was heartbreaking. We think she understood on some level that we were just going back to say goodbye. We have learned in our short time with her that she has a very sweet and tender heart. Her little heart was breaking in this room. So I scooped her up and held her as we walked around to say hello to all the kids who were so excited to see her and her family. My first tears started when a precious little boy went up to Jeff and called him Baba and reached up to be held. I know Jeff would have taken him with us if he could.

We brought suckers with us for the children. Ainsley handed them out. They were so cute and gracious as they received them. They loved having me take their pictures and showing them on my camera. The nannies were so sweet to Emme.
She hesitantly went to them at first. She never relaxed while we were in this room, but she was so sweet and respectful to the women who had raised her there.

After our short time with the kids we went up to Emme’s bedroom. This is the room we have seen in many photos. It houses their cribs/beds on one side and their big playroom on the other. They also have all of their meals here. It was almost time for lunch so we did not stay long. We got a glimpse of her life and it was sobering and sweet all at the same time. The nannies were gentle with the children, and the kids were so friendly. They all looked well taken care of.

At the end of our visit we walked the very beautiful grounds of the orphanage. It is peaceful and quiet. It is also much smaller than I imagined from our photos. Again Emme got very upset so we did not stay long. Long enough to thank them for everything they have done for our daughter and long enough to give our diaper donation. I was very thankful to have the chance to personally thank Jeanne for loving our daughter and for communicating with us while we waited. She asked me to keep in touch, which I promised to do.

I think for Emme this visit and the closure to say goodbye was necessary. I think she understood when she left with us that we were here to stay. When we got into the van she reached out for her Baba. She snuggled into the safety of her Daddy’s arms and slept the entire way back to Nanjing. When we got to the hotel our silly and sweet little girl with the smile that lights up her face and the room was back. I believe we made the right decision for Emme Jade to visit the institute. It is a very personal decision for every family. And, we knew we needed to do this.

Days like today I find myself pausing to marvel at the magnitude of each of our adoptions. It’s a reminder of why we endure the waits and the unknowns. It is a reminder of how God blesses us when we step out in faith. Our hearts did break today for the children that do not have a forever family yet. And we will go forward praying that one day they too will be visitors instead of residents. And, we give thanks for a deeper understanding of the life of our new “little bean!” God blessed her while she waited too!

Blessings,
Diana