Trip to China
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Friday, August 13, 2010 LEAVING BEHIND JIANGXI I have no idea what today's date is or what time it is anywhere. Time just seems to be flying by! I am not sure if it is the jet lag or just the amount of things we need to get done. The nights turn into days and then it repeats itself..maybe it is the new parenthood daze! Today was a free day but not for Todd since he had to pack all day. We have 5 bags we are still managing but this time we have a child to carry as well! We also have to fit all our liquids in the checked luggage because no liquids of any sort are allowed on in-country China flights! We did have some extra weight due to the souvenirs but were able to leave some other items behind. Todd is a wonderful packer but no matter how good you are it can take a long time. Our guide told us each bag should be under 44 lbs. Well our bags were still hitting 70 lbs. and one hit 90 lbs.! Todd had to rush around right before we left switching things in and out of each suitcase! Our bags ended up being all over the limit but our guide talked to the airport officials and we didn't have to pay any fees this time! As Todd packed today Harper pranced around the room swirling in her dress and giving herself kisses in the full length mirror! We ventured off to to lunch by ourselves. What a bad idea! Little miss fussy pants was little miss social! She was all over the place at the western restaurant and barely ate anything. Instead of her food being in her mouth it was all over mommy's new J.Crew shorts and the floor ! I was not amused! That smile of hers... man...it allows her to get away with a lot! I tried to tell our favorite waitresses with hand signals that this would be our last meal here. They just smiled and followed Harper around. I don't think they understood. My stomach has been nervous since last night. Todd and I are both overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety. We are both surprised at the strong connection we have to this part of China, the hotel and our room. I guess we just feel like this was our first home with Harper. I wish we could stay here for another week and not go to our next destination. Every adoption is finalized in Guangzhou so we don't have a choice. Most adoptive parents are typically beyond excited to hit this point of the journey. We, however, have upset stomachs, tears in eyes and nervous energy radiating from us. This place is just so comforting and although other people do not feel the same as us in their child's province, for an array of reasons, we have had a wonderful experience. I don't think anything can ever top this week. I suppose I am also nervous for the flight. Before, I just had to worry about me and Toddd. Now I all I can think about is keeping Harper safe. I promised her foster mom I would! Guangzhou is third largest city in China and the capital of Guangdong Province, southern China's largest city, a key transportation hub and trading port located on the Pearl River which is navigable to the South China Sea. As of the 2000 census, the city has a population of 6 million, and an urban population of roughly 11.85 million, making it the most populous city in the province and the most populous city in China. It is also flooded with adoptive parents. They capitalize on this group and there are a ton of shops filled with Chinese souvenirs, Asian clothes and of course the famous squeaky sheos! All of the shops have American first names -- like Linda's, Peter's, Jordan's, etc.! I guess they only think we will shop there if they have names that we are familiar with! The best part about our trip to Guangzhou, besides the shopping, will be that Harper will be issued an American visa and officially become a US citizen. All out hard work will be complete and the adoption journey to her will be final! Probably the hardest day of our trip to China will be tomorrow. Every child must have a medical exam and since we are a Hague family (under the Hague Convention) every child that enters the US must receive a set amount of immunizations. We will not know that number until tomorrow. I am dreading the medical exam as every adoptive parent does! At least tomorrow we will learn her current height and weight. It will also be the first time we can talk to her Dr. about her heart. I am beyond antsy about the appointment, the flight and leaving here. As soon as our bags were packed and by the door Harper started to cry -- it was so sad. I guess she felt our nervousness. She is so smart and picks up on everything! I kept telling her "Don't worry you are coming with us! Mommy and Daddy are not leaving you here!" We headed downstairs with the other adoptive family and said our goodbyes to the hotel staff. Our bell boy was so incredible. He would always help us in and out of the car being so careful not to bump my head or Harper's. He always had a huge smile and helped make our stay so memorable. The other adoptive parent traveling with us told him to continue to work hard and he understood. It was just very touching and the young man was so appreciative of the tips we gave him. The people that have jobs here really are lucky that they can provide for their families, but still they live a hard life. The family that we are traveling with (that had to go to the hospital with their baby girl) told me the story of how different their hospitals were compared to ours. On top of that, their child was almost given the wrong medicine. It is just a shame that a country in this day in age still does not have adequate health care. I hope one day they will have the same great medical care we have in the states. They are are doing the best that they can here but I really can appreciate how good life is in the USA. You really feel for the people here in China! On the way to the airport our guide taught us a Chinese lullaby about two tigers. She made us each sing a line to try to memorize it! The funny thing is it was the same nursery rhyme song as "Where is Thumpkin!" Our guide said she would bring us to the passport checkpoint and then we would say our good-bye's. Harper was so fidgety in the car. She is going to scream her head off when she has to be in a car seat in the US. We were told not to discipline in China because it can alter the bonding process so we are trying not to but it is hard. She touches everything and she knows when she shouldn't have something. She turns around with a big grin on her face then chuckles a little. Harper's Chinese passport is hilarious! It looks like a mug shot you find on the front page of CNN (looking at the picture, I can only imagine the headline -- Baby Caught Stealing Formula!) She's looks miserable and not smiling because it's over 100 degrees, she's being forced to sit still and look at the crazy man squeaking a horn while he blinds her with a 1000 watt flash bulb! It was taken on Monday with that picture I have posted of her sitting on that little chair in her red dress. Harper will lose her rights as a Chinese citizen so the government will contact us in a month and give us instructions on how to send her passport back. She can not have dual citizenship so she will issued an American passport in the states. I know she is only a baby but I kind of have mixed feelings about this. It is a bit overwhelming and sad to take away a human being's rights no matter how small they are. We are her parents now and we obviously feel we are doing the right thing by adopting her. I mean we can provide her with everything she needs and access to the best doctors and eduction, but with that comes a sacrifice and hers is to leave her birthplace and to lose her Chinese citizenship. I was sick to my stomach and cried when we said goodbye to our guide. My hands were full with Harper and bags so I could only say, "Until we see each other again" and with that our amazing guide, Karen disappeared among all the other people. In China you are at their mercy with their rules so my sense of comfort was pretty low and I felt very vulnerable without our guide. We had to put out bags through security just like we do in the states. The other adoptive family had their child's cough medicine taken away from then since it was a liquid. This poor family can't get a break! They then made us walk through a security scanner but wouldn't let us hold our babies. We had to hand them over to two different people. It was horrible watching Harper cry as they passed her around (and not so gently I might add!) Then they scanned her and she screamed her head off. Her face was all red and sweaty. None of of us were happy. I was trying to talk over the airport scanner and kept saying, "Look at mommy I am right here". The Nanchang airport was small but packed and after awhile we realized we were at the wrong gate. It was so nerve wracking and my emotions were running high. I had not eaten all day and couldn't fathom even seeing food! We tried to keep Harper occupied by going up and down the aisles of people and she would smile until people smiled back at her! We had to take a bus to the plane and two very kind young women let us have their seats as they stood. The Chinese people are so thoughtful and polite. The one flight attendant on the plane even thanked us for adopting the babies. You just never know what type of reaction you will get! As we boarded Harper's first flight out eyes filled with tears from the beauty of the background and our past week here. It was beyond picturesque with the mountains behind us and the sun setting in the west! We boarded the plane tearfully and Harper was waving goodbye to the only land she has ever known! Yes we would still be in China on the next leg of the trip but this was authentic China as Guangzhou is more modern and westernized.

Harper is now happy to see our faces in the morning! Harper hiding behind a chair and waiting for the hostess to visit! Oh those eyes!!! ..and that smile!!! She loves herself! Falling asleep on mommy after being rocked for thirty minutes! Todd waving goodbye to Fengcheng and our driver! Harper's first flight! Here we come Guangzhou! I found something I want mommy! . Harper's new friends at the White Swan hotel!

Luckily, it was only a short 1 hour flight and we landed in what felt like Miami. The vibe is totally different here and so is our guide! We nicknamed her the "Queen of Guangzhou". She is nothing like our last guide but I am sure will get the job done! We asked her questions about tomorrow's medical exam and how many shots to expect. She just told us to be ready at 10:30 am...okay! I guess she is going to be the one in charge. Ha! Maybe I was just being grumpy but I was not happy with her, or being here or how late at night it was that we arrived. It was past Harper's bedtime and we still had not eaten yet. We arrived at our beautiful hotel called The White Swan which is located right on the island! I have heard nothing but wonderful things about this place. In fact many of the US presidents have stayed here! However, no matter how beautiful this lobby was -- and it was breathtaking -- it couldn't live up to our stay at the Galactic Peace Hotel in Nanchang. I wasn't ready to go home yet but I didn't feel like being here. I was so out of it. Harper seemed to like the place though. As soon as I put her on the ground in the lobby she was running to the flowers and the women at the front desks. I tried to relish in her happiness but it didn't last long as her nighttime cry and squirming began. Tonight as we laid in bed in our exquisite suite on the river at the White Swan hotel, we mourned the loss of Harper's first home with us. As one adoptive parent on my adoption chat board said, "We don't get to bond with our children while they are in utero or the first few months of life. Instead we bond over the loss of their homeland, their new identity, their new food, and their new home." It is true everything that was once familiar for Harper will no longer be -- just like when her biological mother had to leave her. However, this time for her, we will be there to grieve right alongside her.

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