You may wonder why China? Well, our journey to adopt from China actually began during the rocky year of 2000. I, Susan, was fighting an exhausting battle with cancer. I experienced a great deal of excruciating pain throughout the period of my treatment. I recall one day in particular. We were driving home from my radiation treatment, and I was miserable and uncomfortable. I remember watching the world go by as I rested my head against the car window. I looked up and saw a billboard for a local hospital telling how many babies had been born there that year. In that moment, I decided I’d been through enough pain for one lifetime. I didn’t want to experience labor pains … ever. I wanted to adopt. 

Well, time has a way of healing old wounds and, three years later, Rob and I found ourselves exploring the idea of pregnancy. We went to see a high-risk obstetrician who laid out all the potential difficulties a pregnancy could present for us. We felt pretty confident, but wanted to talk to my oncologist one last time before we began “trying.” Dr. Govindan, my oncologist, had become like a loving father figure to us. He spent over 2 hours talking with us that day. He laid out the pros and cons of a pregnancy for me. He helped us to realize that there were literally no other women who had survived my kind of cancer and done well enough to even consider having children. He was concerned that if things went wrong my cancer could come back and, if that happened, it would surely kill me. Well … HELLO! We decided that we were not risk takers. I knew I could be a mother and that pregnancy was only nine months of the experience. We didn’t need to do that. I cried for about two minutes, then Rob and I looked ahead to the family that would be our own.

As soon as we made the decision to adopt, I knew our child was in China. We explored adoptions from several different countries, but kept coming back to China. You see, in China there is a huge over-population problem. As a result, the government made a policy that families could only have one child. In rural areas, if the first child is a girl, they can have one additional child in the hopes of having a boy.

We’ve heard people make the comment that in China, “they don’t like their girls.” THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE!!! I cannot tell you how many people came up to me when I was in China with Zoe. They would smile and say “Lucky girl! Lucky baby!” then they would tenderly caress Zoe’s cheek or shake my hand. They love their girls.

Why, then, are so many girls adopted from China each year? Well, it is a custom in China that boys grow up to care for their parents in old age. Girls grow up to marry husbands and, in turn, they care for their husband’s parents in old age. In a country where there is no social security system, parents want daughters, but they NEED sons. It is the son who makes it possible for his elderly parents to retire and still live comfortably.

For this reason, many women feel they have no alternative but to place their daughters for adoption. Unfortunately, this act is against the law in China. Women are taking an incredible risk when they leave their daughters to be found by someone else. Abandonment IS the only way to make an adoption plan for women in China.

Our girls’ birth mothers chose life for them. They chose to give them a chance for a better future the only way they knew how. For that, we are forever grateful. We love the ancient and rich culture that is a part of our girls’ history. We hold the utmost respect for the Chinese people. And we thank China for the ultimate gifts they have given to us … Zoe, and soon to be, Lexi.