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January 12, 2009  |  March 3, 2009  |  August 5, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009 Sorry it has taken so long for our first update since returning home from China. Life has been hectic, wonderful, challenging, exciting, and exhausting as we all adjust to being a family of four. The trip home was looooooooooong! We began our Christmas morning bright and early (after a night filled with many tears as Lexi struggled to sleep). We had planned to get up earlier than we did, but the 2 hours of Lexi crying overnight had us all exhausted, and we slept in until the early hour of 5am. Zoe was excited to find that Santa had left a brown teddy bear for her and a white one for Lexi! We quickly showered, finished packing, put our luggage out for pick-up, and ran down to breakfast. We met our bus and the six other families flying with us at 6:45am. The first leg of our trip from Guangzhou to Beijing was by far the worst! Lexi’s ears were bothering her and she screamed … literally … for 2 hours straight. There must have been 30 Chinese women that kept turning around to glare and me in my inablilty to calm her down. I was so overwhelmed! Thankfully, a Canadian woman who had spent the past three years teaching in China came to help me. She got down on Lexi’s level and spoke to her in gentle Chinese baby talk. It was so wonderful to see Lexi light up and listen so intently! She taught me a few phrases, and that seemed to help me get through that flight. In Beijing, we had a 5 hour layover but we had to pick up and recheck our baggage, change terminals, and check in for our international flight. We also needed to get through customs and security. All that took us a good three and a half hours. Then we found a restaurant that served a version of western food. Rob and I split a burger, and Zoe and Lexi shared spaghetti. They both managed to get themselves completely covered in sauce but I decided not to change than as I only had one change of clothing for each of them. Two hours into our flight from Beijing to Chicago, Zoe was huffing and puffing, repeatedly stating, “I’m bored!” Thankfully, she fell asleep thirty minutes later and then proceeded to sleep for about ten and a half hours. Lexi was much calmer for this leg of the trip and managed to sleep off and on for about eight and a half hours. Rob managed about five hours of rest while I think I managed about two. Right before we arrived in Chicago, I changed both girls and my own shirt so we would be somewhat clean for our meeting with Grandma Arp and Auntie Laura. When we landed in Chicago, all the adopted families were expedited through customs and we actually made it through in under two hours. The first time we took a bathroom break in the US, Zoe washed her hands and she looked up at me with a gleam in her eyes. She said, “Mommy, can I put my hands in my mouth after I wash them?” I nodded my head, and then she stuffed both clean wet hands in her mouth with a huge grin. I smiled at her as she said, “It’s good to be back in the United States!” I couldn’t agree more! We had the chance to spend a little over and hour visiting with Grandma Arp and Auntie Laura. Lexi surprised us all as she allowed Auntie Laura, her soon to be Godmother, to hold her and carry her around! Both girls slept the entire last leg of the trip as we travelled from Chicago back to the northeast. We landed just past midnight (about 36 or so hours later than when we had woken up to begin our trip). Our good friend, Merri Lee, met us at the airport and drove us home. Our bed was a sight for sore eyes and we all practically passed out that night! If my blurred memory serves correctly, we began that first night with Lexi in our bed along with Rob and me, while Zoe crashed on our floor. At some point, during that night/day, Rob ended up in Zoe’s bed. The next few days were a blur as we struggled with jetlag and sleep issues. We had planned to do the family bed with Lexi, but we quickly discovered two things. Lexi is an incredibly light sleeper and if we so much as rolled over, she would wake up and scream for an hour before going back to sleep. We also discovered that she wanted to sleep in the bed with Mommy, but would get VERY angry if Daddy tried sleeping with us as well. THAT wasn’t going over well with Mommy … I’m sorry but Daddy was here first. So at some point, we put the pack-n-play in our bedroom. But she would cry for hours and again would awaken if one of us rolled over. I was a basket case by the time my parents arrived the following Monday. I.was.not.sleeping. and I was beyond exhausted! Thankfully, Lexi would let my mother hold her (she screamed if Rob, Zoe, or my Dad tried). But Mom could comfort her which meant I actually got an hour or two of sleep each afternoon. I also had a heart to heart with my Mom about Lexi’s sleeping or lack there of. She talked me into trying to let her sleep in her crib. We had fully intended to do the family bed with her which we had done with Zoe. But Lexi was such a light sleeper that it was not working AT ALL. Even the pack-n-play in our room was a bust. Because I was holding her throughout the day and always kept her in my sight (I was her calm place) I decided to try and let her sleep in her crib at night. Both Mom and my pediatrician suggested this would be a good idea. Since my lack of sleep was causing me to be a less than stellar mother to either daughter, I agreed to give it a try.

Auntie Laura & Lexi. Zoe with her Nai Nai. Our family of four after 36 hours of travel ... can you say tired!?! Thank goodness for big sisters the first time you try a carseat! Zoe with Granmommy & Grandaddy during our Christmas celebration. Getting to know Grandaddy .. just don't get too close!

After a few days of trial and error, I finally came up with a plan that seems to work. I hold her throughout her morning nap each day. She goes in her crib for her afternoon nap. During this time Zoe and I spend quality big girl together. If Lexi has not slept long enough at her afternoon nap, when she wakes up, I hold her, rock her, and allow her to sleep a little longer. Thankfully, at nighttime she sleeps in her crib. In the evening, she only cries for a couple of minutes before drifting off. We shared a wonderful Christmas with my parents on New Year’s Day. Lexi handled all the excitement well and Zoe, being five, LOVED everything about the day! My parents left a couple of days later, Rob returned to work, Zoe went back to preschool, and we all started to fall into a routine. With sleeping coming along, we have been able to work on some behavioral issues with Zoe, and her relationship with her sister seems to now be coming along beautifully. One of my favorite times of day is mealtime. Zoe and Lexi will sit in their seats and instead of eating, they just sit there and giggle. They appear to really crack each other up, and it’s too cute! When Lexi gets particularly angry with her sister, which she does when she is being hugged too tight, picked up, or gently pushed upon, Zoe has been heard saying repeatedly, “You know Lexi, you just need to learn that I was here first!” This past Tuesday was probably the most challenging day we have faced, and I finally told Rob I was taking Zoe to a friend’s house. He was to care for Lexi while I exercised. Up until that point, I had done little to take care of my own well-being and I knew exercise was going to be really important. Rob and Lexi went to the mall (she only screamed for a couple of minutes tgen shared some ice cream with her Daddy). I got to work out and listen to really great music. To say that hour of “me time” made all the difference in the world would be a vast understatement! Now Rob and Lexi have a standing date on Tuesday and Thursday nights while I go exercise. Zoe will either play at a friend’s house or hang out in the gym playroom during that time. Life is very good! We are all incredibly blessed and are so grateful that Lexi is now part of our lives! I promise to try and update to let you all know how we are doing on a monthly basis so please check back and see what we are up to. My hope is that someday soon I’ll be able to take a shower, fix supper, and maybe even put on a little make-up without a beautiful baby screaming in the background. She’s coming along, and I KNOW that she won’t want me to hold her all the time when she goes to kindergarten someday. These early days are challenging but they are also incredibly rewarding! Thank you so much for following and sharing in our journey to complete our family! Until next month …

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