Trip to China
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Sunday, December 14, 2008 GOTCHA DAY! Written at 2:45 am the morning of the day we will meet Lexi: On October 8, 2004, just two days shy of her first birthday, Zoe was placed in my waiting arms and learned what it meant to feel motherhood settle into my soul. Today, just two days shy of HER first birthday, Lexi will be placed in my arms. This time, motherhood is already a part of who I am at the core of my being. This time, something different will begin to happen. Today, my heart, that is already large enough to love my husband and oldest daughter utterly and completely, will grow even larger. It seems incomprehensible to me right now at 2:45 in the morning, but every mother I have spoken with tells me it’s true. My heart, ALL of our hearts, are about to expand in size as Lexi nestles her way into our family. We each have our job to do today. My main purpose to hold Lexi, comfort her, meet her needs as best I can, and love her. Rob’s job, aside from taking photos, is to support me in my efforts to help Lexi begin to bond with our family, and love her, too. He will also focus on Zoe. Should she become scared (if Lexi cries a lot), jealous, or overwhelmed, Rob will step in and give her the extra TLC she may require. Zoe’s job will be to take photos of her sister with her Kid Tough camera, to gently caress her hair and back, and to show her sister how to love Mommy and Daddy by doing just that: showing her own love for Mommy and Daddy through kind words, hugs, and kisses. This is going to be one very special day as our family expands from three to four!                       - - - - - - - …Rob continuing the post here because Susan’s hands are full. SHE IS HOLDING ONTO LEXI!!! YEAH!!! We finally have the peanut to complete our family. My gosh, what a precious little girl! And Zoe is loving on her, feeding her Cheerios, and helping her out in such a “mini-Susan” adorable way. What a day! We began by waking up at around 4 in the morning (still jet-lagged) and then met the other seven or so families in the lobby of our hotel at around 5:30am, so that we could take a bus to the airport. Terminal 3 of the Beijing airport is an architectural wonder, really. Built for the 2008 Olympics, it is a behemoth of a space meant to awe you. In fact, everything in Beijing is more massive than any other city I have ever seen. New York can wow someone when you first visit. Now imagine skyscraper after skyscraper after skyscraper for miles, all at least as tall as the Empire State Building, and all of a kind of architecture that is unlike anything in the States. Unreal. And some 16 ½ million people all walking, biking, spitting, smoking, pushing past you, cutting in front of you (there is no concept of “waiting in a line”), almost running you over with their cars, and honking their car horns in a rudeness that rivals the New York City rat race. In a cute way—and with non-mean intentions—Zoe has said to me several times, “Daddy, you don’t fit in, but I do.” I always said with a smile, “That’s right, Pumpkin;” but there is no doubt that Susan and I have more compassion for what it means to be in a minority population. Since I now possess the most valuable Chairman Mao waving watch in all of China, thanks to my slick negotiation skills, I announced to the group that I would be willing to handle any and all bartering. Laughter—then an eerie silence. No takers, so far. We flew Air China to Nanchang and had a breakfast choice of pickled eggs or scrambled eggs… guess which one we chose. (Actually, the Chinese food in Beijing that we ordered is just like the best Chinese food in the States, so our group has been able to maintain our “noticeably-non-thin-American-in-relation-to-the-rest-of-the-thin-Chinese-population” selves, no problem.) Again, people on the plane push past me in the aisle to use the bathroom that I was (kind of) standing in front of. There was one nice Chinese gentleman standing in line behind me who spoke English to me and hollered in Chinese at the people who cut in front of us. Zoe did have what appeared to be a scrumptious bun filled with chocolate. During the flight, she leaned over to me and said, “Just a couple more hours till we see Lexi, Daddy.” “That’s right, Pumpkin.” Every place we go, we go on a bus, and we have at least two guides to tell us about the Chinese history and other facts associated with where we are. This is really neat and helps pass the time. In Nanchang, our guide’s name is Mary, and she is also the head honcho liaison connecting the adoptive families to the orphanage here in this province. She tells us we’ll gather in one of the conference rooms of our hotel at 2:30pm to meet all of our peanuts at around 3pm. It’s hard to eat the lunch buffet stuff in the hotel restaurant, as everyone is abuzz with excitement and anticipation. Then, the moment arrives. After arranging our room’s furniture (complete with two twin beds, one roll-away bed, and one crib) and organizing diapers, formula, and other baby stuff, we head on down to the conference room of the hotel.

The complete Arp family! A quick stop in daddy's arms The Pootie Pie and the Pootie Pie Petite (Zoe is the Pootie Pie Jr.) A kiss for her baby sis Three Ps (Poots) in a pod! A little overwhelmed :(

At one point, Zoe runs and skips down the hallway singing “Lexi, Lexi, Lexi.” We all gather at three round ten-seater tables in the modified “insurance salesmen convention-looking” space of the conference room. This space is now like the waiting room of a hospital you see in old movies, and we are all like fathers, pacing and awaiting the nurse’s arrival with our bouncing baby girls. There is only one way in or out of the room, and all eyes are pointed in that direction. Mary receives the first call on her cell phone that has a distinctive old-fashioned ring tone and announces that the twins have arrived for the Naddeo family. The Naddeos get up and start to walk toward the door. We quickly realize that this ring tone is our own Pavlovian dog-type signal, indicating a baby. Who will be next? Will the next peanut be ours? Then, through the door come the twins, held by casually-dressed Chinese people, and clad in Tigger-looking onesies, complete with eared hoodies. The first-time parent Naddeos step up: mom gets the calm one, dad gets the crier (lucky him), and everyone either laughs or “Awwwwww”s. The Naddeos’ combination of astonishment, joy, and “Wow, this is my kiddo forever” set the tone for the rest of us. I look over at Susan and smile. Zoe waffles between biting her nails and putting her hands over her ears (which is a cute thing she does when she’s a little nervous or scared). After taking a few pictures, I lean over to the Z-meister and say, “The Peanut is almost here!” With a smile that could light up the world, she replies, “Yeah, Daddy, she’s almost here!” Other families ask me to videotape their own birthing moments, as babies are announced by Mary, and more smiling Chinese people walk through the door with little peanuts. There are now seven or so babies: some are crying, some are chilling, a couple of them are sizing up their parents, you can tell. Susan and I recognize Lexi’s big brown eyes from across the room. Lexi’s eyes are a lighter brown than any of the other babies and so is her hair. In fact, her hair is kind of hued with the same colors as Susan’s hair! The orphanage coordinator is a middle-aged woman, Director Li, and she puts Lexi into Susan’s arms while I hold Zoe’s hands as she stands on my feet. Lexi is very calm and, instantaneously, Susan and Lexi look into each other’s eyes and seem bonded. I pick up Zoe, and Susan introduces Lexi to Zoe and me: “This is your jie jie, and this is your ba ba.” Ever so gently, Zoe reaches out and strokes Lexi’s face, then I follow suit. The noise around us is filtered out for a moment, and we are struck by the fact that we are a family. Zoe runs around a bit with some of the other jie jies, periodically checking in with Susan, Lexi, and me to tap Lexi’s arm or gently kiss her head. We stuck around to fill out paperwork. Then, we tried to go to dinner, but we were so tired that we ordered room service spaghetti and all sat on the floor eating it. I have to say that it was some of the best tasting spaghetti I have ever had. Zoe was trying to teach Lexi how to slurp up the spaghetti. Lexi was reluctant to have Zoe or me hold her, kind of whimpering when we tried. She cried for the first time when we went to sleep around 8pm, and that lasted for a good 20 minutes. She woke up at around 2:30am, cried, had a bottle, some raisins, lots of Cheerios, and has been up ever since (It’s now almost 6am). She let Zoe and me hold her at around 5am without a fuss whatsoever! Cool! She’s a light little peanut weighing about 17 pounds. What a little love! Aunt Barb and Uncle Mike (and Riley, too), then the Debanys from Buffalo, then Granmommy skyped us, and all were excited. Love and thanks to you all. Talk to you. Rob

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