|
March 1, 2006
Sianna,
We just heard from our agency that it may be a longer wait
than we had thought or hoped for. It appears that the
Memphis office is really behind with processing the form we
need….it may be months rather than days or weeks before we
are DTC and closer to you.
I will get through this….but not today.
Loving you always,
~Mommy
|
March 7, 2006
Hey Little One,
Well…I did get over my initial shock…and anger…and
frustration…and disappointment….about the form we need. Here
is what I know…
The Memphis office…CIS…Citizenship and Immigration
Services…are the ones who are supposed to process our
fingerprints…and provide us with a form called 171H. This is
the last form…or approval we need before we go DTC….Your daddy
was printed on January 13th….and on the CIS site…it is showing
that they are processing prints taken on November 1st 2005. I
was told the typical wait is about 6 weeks….we are now on week
8. And I have no clue as to when the form will come…once
again…your daddy and I are just waiting to wait….
In the meantime…I am just working…but a little empty at the
moment….
“Here’s the thing”…as your daddy always says….I am emotional,
I will not deny that. I am, at times, very impatient and I can
be a little…well dramatic sometimes <grin> So I had my fit…I
cried…I became “needy” and sad. Then….I picked myself back up
and put a smile on my face and I have accepted that once
again…I have no control over this…all I can control is my
connection with you! So I am back to thinking positive and
moving forward.
I have made some positive changes this month…BIG ONES…and
although I didn’t get closer to you….I did make some much
needed progress on myself. I have taken up running…at the
moment…walking and jogging…the running will come later <grin>
I have put myself on a strict diet to help with the running
and increased physical activity….I hope to be in top shape by
the time I get to you….I am hoping maybe even a marathon!!!!
Or at least ½ of one. I run for an hour everyday…and I mean
everyday….I am going about 3 miles…which is really slow…but I
will work my way up. I am going on my third week.
Your daddy…has been an observer….just watching me from a
distance…changing….then today…he jumped on board!! I could cry
I am so happy! Our health is our top priority right now…and
getting into shape for you!!!
Well I love you….and I love you more….and I love you even more
than that!!!!
See you in my dreams…feel you in my heart!
~Mommy |
March 8, 2006
Sianna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE RECEIVED OUR I71H FORM
TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok…I am a mess….I was not expecting it obviously….but
there it was in our mail tonight! I did not want to let go
of it! We are getting CLOSER TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I emailed our agency immediately….they were supposed to be
sending us a packet…for us to get started on to send our
things to China…so we should be receiving that any day
now…we are also waiting on our passports…which
again..should be here any day now…
I am so hoping for a March DTC and LID…which hopefully
would mean we come and get you in December!!!!!! There
will never be a better Christmas than that one!!!!!
Well I am off to just be happy and more happy and even
more happy!!!!
He….is in control.
Love you….my sweet little child!
~Mommy |
| March 9, 2006
Sianna,
WOW!!! Things are happening
now! My agency emailed me and stated that it would be
quicker if they didn’t mail the packet we need but
rather email it…..so I just printed it off….
This is what we have to do….
- Sign our financial statement
(I forgot to sign it on the one we already sent them)
- Write an application
letter…they gave us an example to go by.
- Employment Letter…from a CPA
- Make a copy of the I71H form.
- Copies of our
passports….however we are still waiting for those to
come to us in the mail…dang it!
- Family Photos….which they
provided directions for….they are specific as to what
they want.
- Passport Photos.
- Registration Fee
Then after all of that is
done…we mail it to our agency and they will get
everything signed….and then we send it off…and are
officially waiting for YOU!!!!
A friend of ours….called us
something cute….she said we were “paper pregnant” now!!!
<do’in the dance>
Love, Love, Love, Love YOU!
~Mommy |
March 25, 2006
Hi Little One!
Lets see…it is 9:07 am on a Saturday. I got up about
30 minutes ago and I am getting ready to get on my
treadmill. Yes!!! I am still doing it!! <grin>
So much has happened in two weeks. I received my
passport….we are waiting on your dad’s…yes we always
seem to be waiting on your dad…<grin> I am expecting
that it should be here the first of the week. That is
the ONLY thing left and then we send all our paperwork
to our agency…then it is off to get all the seals and
such…then off to China.
If I had to make a guess…which all my guessing has
been wrong so far…I would say we will get a “Log in
Date” around the end of April….and a referral…which is
YOUR picture and information…around Christmas…and
travel to get you in February. BUT I AM HOPING….I AM
PRAYING….it will be SOONER THAN THAT!!!!!! As I have
said…I had a difficult Thanksgiving and Christmas
without you….and I just knew it would be the last of
those holiday’s without you….however…it may be that we
must spend one more apart….what will be different, I
hope, is that I will have your picture…and I will know
at that point that we are so close. So……for now…I just
have to get those PAPERS TO CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your daddy and I have been really getting our lives
ready for you. We are getting the house ready….our
minds and spirit ready…our bodies ready and WE ARE
READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We made some changes with
our work…so that we can spend more time with you…so
that YOU are the priority and not our jobs. Before you
came into our lives…it was ok for us to work all night
and all day….and to dedicate every breath to our
work…but now…we have been given a beautiful
opportunity to love and care for you…which the new
promotion to parenthood is the only promotion we care
about now!!!
I am trying to get your dad to committ to a vacation
this year. We really need to get away and have some
fun!!!! I am hoping to go sometime this summer to
Hilton Head. This is a place that is very special to
our whole family….and a place I can not wait to share
with YOU! My parents took us there as children and we
just loved it. And then when your dad and I got
married…this is where we spent our honeymoon…and now
this is where the whole family gets together to spend
Thanksgiving. So….all it is missing is YOU!!!! So I am
going to continue to convince your dad that he and I
are going to spend some much needed time….building
sand castles….riding bikes….watching sunsets…eating
crab legs…hitting 18 holes….and fishing, fishing,
fishing.
Speaking of fishing…I am still enjoying fly fishing
but not going as much as your dad is. We have already
gone camping this year by the river and it was
wonderful…I caught about 5 over the course of the
weekend….your dad….about 40!!!!!! Show OFF! <grin>
Well…I just think of you every minunte of the day….I
miss you every second…and I love you even more often
than time will clock.
You are my rainbow!
Love you always…..always….always!
~Mommy |
March 31, 2006
3:06 AM
NiHao (Hello) Little One,
Well that about does it for my Chinese <grin>. I am
hoping to learn much more than that by the time we get
to you.
<sigh> Well lets see…this has been a difficult few
weeks. Oh I won’t down play it…it has been down right
stressful! The changes at work…have gotten me a little
off balance and I am trying to regain my footing…This
is a time in our life that I am defiantly going to
share with you…but not in this journal. Your dad’s
passport has yet to arrive…of course…so we called to
check on the status and the person your dad talked to
said it should have already been mailed…and after
looking into it….it had not even been processed yet.
The gentleman said he would put a “rush” on
it…whatever that means….
The wait continues…
So here I was…caught up in all my “drama” and I
realized something. There is always something
beautiful going on somewhere despite all the bad
things that may be going on around you. I find…that
when I am still….and quiet…I connect to God…to my true
self….to you. These days it is difficult for me to
have any time to myself to really just “be still”…but
I stole a moment tonight…and I want to share this
extremely special moment with you…
…Long day at work…about 12 hours to be exact. I went
out with a few friends after work and tried to just
settle into the night. I came home to an empty home
which is rare. (Your dad is gone for the weekend on a
backpacking fly fishing trip) I took the dogs out…who
were about to explode and looked around the house
which had been neglected while we have been making it
through our transition at work. It was probably close
to 12 by this time. So I turned on the stereo…LOUD…and
began to clean the house. The dogs were following me
around and looking very confused when I grabbed the
vacuum and started the laundry. They finally gave up
on the fact that we were going to follow the normal
routine and went into the bedroom and settled in for
the night while I began the process of cleaning not
just the house but my mind and my spirit. I decided at
this point…it was going to be an “all nighter”.
Once I get going it doesn’t take me long to clean…I
have a system that I have mastered over the years
<grin> After I dusted off the last table…I took a walk
around the house to survey my work… as I did…I looked
deep into this house…I felt a warm surge come over me
as I could see you walking down the hallway it your
little pajamas and stuffed bear. I could see your
beautiful deep chocolate eyes and raven black hair. I
looked over at your daddy’s favorite chair and could
see you cradled in his lap while he reads you the same
story over and over again…per your requests. I sat
down at the kitchen table and saw you making a mess
with your food with the biggest smile and giggling all
the way. I walked into your room and I saw you
sleeping sound with the blanket that held me when I
was your age. I peeked into the bathroom and saw you
splashing around in the tub with more toys than
water…suds in your hair. I saw you chasing your daddy
around the room and I saw you look up at me and
stretch out your arms for me to hold you.
….then it was clear to me…You are my something
“beautiful” that I could not see until I was still and
quiet.
So I lit candles throughout the house and poured
myself a large glass of water.. and nestled onto the
couch with my blanket… and focused all my energy on
you and I experienced the most beautiful moment...you
were being born…and I was there with you…but stood at
a distance…I saw your birth mother…but not her face…it
was a beautiful birth and you were ready to come out
and see the new world…your cries were like “here I am
world…” I was caught up in just the awe of what was
happening…when I feel a presence beside me…It was God.
He approached you and cradled you in his arms…He held
you so gently and close…your crying stopped and you
just rested quietly in his arms…He walked over to your
birth mother and wiped her glistening forehead and
took her hand in his and just held it softly…He looked
over at me and encouraged me to approach…I walked over
to Him and he placed my hand onto hers and we allowed
our fingers to intertwine with one another’s and I
felt stronger having her hand in mine…God took his
hands and placed them over ours…the feeling was more
than can be described…then I realized what God was
showing us….
He is always there. He is with your birth mother…He is
with me…and He is with you. Even though your birth
mother and I may never know one another…God has
connected us through you…I feel like God is saying…you
are not hers, or mine….but instead we are all His
children...we all come from Him and that is what
connects us all.
This was a beautiful, quiet, still moment….and I
wanted to share it with you…
Loving you always,
~Mommy |
|
