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October 1, 2006
Sianna,
It is 10:30 A.M. on Sunday. I woke up this morning and
checked my emails and also my China Angels Board…only to
receive frustrating news on the progress of adoptions….or
lack of I should say. Granted, these are “rumors” but
nonetheless, very frustrating. According to this information
we are not looking to receive a referral for you until June
of 2008!!! That means another year and several months. I am
pretty much numb at this point. If that were the case that
would mean 3 years and 3 months we will have waiting for
you….39 months. When we began this process we were looking
at 12 months total from beginning to end. <sigh> I will get
through this…just not sure how.
I just want you to know that the only negative aspect about
this process is the wait. All else we have and are
enjoying…the anticipation of bringing you home and having
your apart of our lives. I can not explain what the
“waiting” is doing…I have never experienced anything like
this before. Maybe it is a huge lesson for us to learn,
well, consider it learned!
IF, we do have this long wait still ahead…I have got to come
up with something to help me get through this. I am not sure
what that is…but I need to be invloved in something that
will help me pass the time. Work and everyday normal life is
not cutting it. I will think on that one….
I could work on your room, but I don’t want to finish it too
soon. I would rather have it completed right before your
arrival. I could learn Chinese…but I can hardly do English
well <grin> But that might be something I could do. I know
if I spoke to you in Chinese when we met…it might make
things easier for you. I will look into that.
I just can’t imagine what it is going to feel like when I am
waiting in the room right before they hand you to me. I just
can’t even process that… I really hope that one day you will
know how much your daddy and I loved you before we even met
you. I believe that you were born in my heart…back in March
of 2005 and that you were always meant to be with us….and us
with you.
Love you, Love you, Love you!!!!! Always!
~Mommy
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